Study on Sex, Dating, and Singleness

Ok, so yesterday I wrote a post asking for your help with my study on Sex, Dating, and Singleness for my Senior Girls Bible Study. This morning, I took it down, for the fear that my "tips" might seem moralistic without being connected to the greater context of our Bible Study- God's call for our lives- single, dating, and married- to love him with all that we are and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Living for his glory and the good of others! Anyways, per my sister's request, I repost it. (Love that this blog has become yet another area of  life for my fear of man to be exposed!)

Anyways, on Wednesday I finish up a College Prep Bible Study for my Senior Girls. Our last topic is Sex, Dating, and Singleness. Always a crowd favorite. Girls seem to come out of the woodwork for this. A few years back, I gave a 3 week series on Sex, Love, and Dating, and for those 3 weeks, and those 3 weeks alone, our study tripled in size! I love it. Primarily because I am the exact same way.

I am wanting to give my girls some resources to take home at the end of Bible Study. This week, I will give them several different things- one of which is my own thoughts, advice, things to remember on these areas of life. My longing for them is that they might have relationships that honor Christ, serve and love other well, and ones that protect their hearts, minds, and bodies. Would love your thoughts or advice- anything you think these girls should know upon going to college! 

                                 Tips on Dating, Sex, and Singleness...

                                                         ...From My Experience or Lack Thereof

 

1. Your relationship with the Lord should always be the most important relationship in your life.

2. Unless, a guy is your husband, his most significant relationship to you is as a brother in Christ. (I guess this is true even when he is your husband!)

3. Date a guy that makes you laugh, that you have fun with.

4. You might not marry the guy you date. He could be someone else’s husband. You could be someone else’s wife. Keep that in mind when you are considering boundaries physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

5. If your friends don’t like him, don’t date him.

6. Date/Marry a guy for exactly who he is and not who you hope he will be one day.

7. Date/Marry a guy who loves you for exactly who you are and not who he hopes you will be.

8. Be creative in the ways you spend time together.

9. If you are dating, include your single friends in your relationship.

10. If your roommates are gone for the weekend, don’t hang out at your house. And visa- versa. If his roommates are gone, don't hang out at his. 

11. Don’t have guy best friends. Your deepest, most intimate, heart-level friendships should always be with girls.

12. A guys character/heart are far more important than his good looks, athletic ability, what frat he is in, what major he has, etc.

13. Every guy you date, could potentially be one you marry. Therefore, be careful who you date in the first place. 

14. Hang out in groups so you can see how guys interact with other people. This is the biggest indicator of what they are really like.

15. Don’t act like you are married if you aren’t.

16. Even if you aren’t “sleeping together”, guys still shouldn’t spend the night at your house or in your bed.

17. The “one night” in one night stands only refers to the physical action itself. The memories and emotions and heartache last much, much longer.

18. The time that you are single is not just waiting time before the next relationship, it is given, ordained by God....live to the fullest in it, use it wisely, don’t waste it.

19. The best practice for a good dating/marriage relationship is seeking good relationships with everyone else in your life first.

20. Date someone who challenges you... spiritually, intellectually, emotionally. Someone who pushes you to grow and be a  better person.

21. Don’t make excuses for guys when they continually mess up/don’t treat you well.

22. Have accountability for your relationships.

23. Talk about your boundaries early in the relationship. They are much harder to decide/keep when you are in the moment.

24. Guard your heart in both your dating relationships and friendships with guys.

25. It’s true what they say in When Harry Met Sally, men and women can’t be friends!

26. Guys are visual- they are stimulated by and remember everything they see.

27. Ask your friends hard/personal questions about their relationships.

28. Seek counsel/advice from older Christians, both single and married, who you respect.

29. God’s grace and forgiveness does exceedingly cover and can redeem your sexual sin. One of my favorite aspects of Scripture is how God uses and Christ pursues the sexually broken. He can redeem guilt and cover shame and restore the person. 

30. The rules God gives us are to give us life, not keep us from it!

31. Every good relationship involves some kind of risk.

32. Being drunk is not an excuse.

33. Date someone who spurs you on toward Christ.