A Little Update

Dear blog followers- if there are still any of you out there,

I am so sorry for the lack of blogging as of late, and assure you that I will once again try to do better in the future. Life up here in STL is keeping me very busy, but as most of you know, I like it that way. I keep telling the sweet family that I live with that if I am home for more than 6 hours 2 days in a row to go ahead and be worried about me. Busy usually = good in my book. Unfortunately, however this busyness has not left much time for blogging. I will try for some more fun or more insightful posts soon. But for now, here is a lil update on the happenings up here in STL.

I guess the best way to sum up so much of what is going on in and around me is that things are becoming more real. School is definitely feeling more real as I had my first big paper and first big test last week. Until then, I had conveniently forgotten that going to school actually meant you had to turn things in and be tested over the material you are learning. I wish I had made this realization in my Greek class earlier because I was so captivated by the lectures that I had forgotten to take notes! Whoops..

The fact that I actually live here is becoming much more real. I seem to have found a routine, and God has graciously blessed me with some great friends, a church, and a community group I just joined tonight. I see his gracious provision and sheer grace in so much, and I am so thankful. Life in Dallas, though so so real in my heart, does now seem like a little while ago. That is weird, but I think good in the sense that it means I am beginning to feel somewhat planted here.

I was able to go see my family this weekend in OKC. Lindsay had a big musical and so we all got together. It was so refreshing to reconnect with everyone face to face. It had been 6 weeks, which was like a marathon for me. And it truly filled my cup. I flew back at the crack of dawn Monday morning. Gate A7 was going to St. Louis, Gate A9 to Dallas. It was a very weird experience not getting on that Dallas bound flight, and made it really real that for now, this is my new home. But God has given me such grace in the transition back this week, and I have been thankful to be here.

But above all this what has become more real to me over the last few weeks is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Over these weeks, I have had the truths of the gospel expounded to me in such powerful ways, but I have also had my heart exposed in profound ways. So often, I get to the end of the day and think "really? that is really what is in my heart?" So many times I have been shocked at what I have seen in my heart, in what I am really like. Which, I guess means I don't really know my heart all that well. It is hard, and I pray humbling, and I am thankful that the Lord doesn't show us all of ourselves at once. I am thankful however that the Lord is doing all of this in me in the context of a place where I am constantly reminded of his gospel and his grace. My sin is not the end of the story. My Savior is! Alleluia!

What a privilege it is to be here. It has taken me a while to see that, but my God's grace I am beginning to. A pastor reminded us on Friday that God's call in our lives is beyond us, bigger than us, and yet somehow involves us. And God's call on my life to bring me here right now is no exception. It is my prayer that this will be real to me, and as one hymn says that "out of unrest and arrogant pride I will come." That I will continued to be humbled and find peace in the reality of his call.

To Him who has called us and To Him who is with us, To Him be the Glory...

Mastering the Art of...

For those of you have read the title and are thinking I about to follow it up with "French Cooking," you are deeply mistaken and clearly don't know me at all. It would be great if I could master the art of any cooking at all- especially, French cooking. (Actually, I'd prefer Tex-Mex but I don't think Julia wrote a book on that!)But alas, I can only cook one dish, one side, chocolate chip cookies, and a wonderful cheese dip with bacon on the top! So no, Julia Childs and the other Julie from NY (for those that have seen the movie) would not be very proud of me. And I am pretty sure I won't be having any food critics down to my basement mini-kitchen anytime soon! But I will tell you what I have recently mastered the art of...

EATING AT HOME!

For those of you who don't know me, you are probably thinking to yourselves "Whoopty-Doo!" For those of you who do know me, you can go ahead and pick your jaws up off the floor. It is true, I, Caroline, have officially mastered the art of eating at home. You would be shocked how many meals I eat here. I have even found that is possible to go an entire day without spending any money on food! Shocker, I know!

**Note: I still have not found it is possible to go a whole day without spending money on diet coke! Oh, well..maybe one day!

For those of you who are wondering how I did it, or any of you who are chronic eat-outers, I would like to share with you some things that I have learned. So here it is...

Ten Tips to Mastering the Art of Eating at Home:

10. Always have a jar of peanut butter ready! I am now sooo organic and go for the all natural one. You have to stir up the oils in there but it is well worth the work!

9. When tired of the boring sandwich, get yo-self some tortillas to make a wrap!

8. Always have a lil something sweet on hand for dessert! (I recommend the Skinny Cows!!)

7. Condiments are a must! Preferably honey mustard, hummus, and guac! (Those are condiments right?)

6. If you cannot cook, the microwave will become your new best friend! I have now named mine Molly Micro- we have great chats each evening around dinner time!

5. Baked lays go with anything!

4. Cereal for dinner is sensational and lower calorie than most dinners! For a fancy cereal treat- go ahead, get crazy, and combine 2 or 3 kinds!

3. It is possible to create a sandwich pretty close to what you like at your fave place! (Now all I need is one of those grills from PD's and I am set!)

2. Unfortunately, frozen dinners never taste as good as the picture on the box tells you it will. But you get over that pretty fast!

1. Eating at home causes you to spend less cash money and consume less calories! Um, yes please!

So there you have it!

Alright, off to heat up my baked ziti in a box...

... and then finish up my list of restaurants I can't wait to eat at on my visit home to Dallas in October!

Ok, so maybe I haven't totally mastered it :)

Bon Appetit!!

It's Back...Dear Diary

It's ironic, I figured I would have a lot more blogging material when I moved up here to St. Louis but for some reason, it seems to be incredibly lacking! Not sure what that says about me, but we'll leave that for another time and place.

I woke up super early this morning, and as I was laying in bed was thinking about what I would post next on the blog! Obviously, because isn't that what everyone thinks about when they mysteriously wake up early on a Sunday morning?! But anyways, I was deep in thought and then it hit me.... the diary! Somehow it got lost in the midst of quitting my job, moving, and starting school. But as of today, she is back!

**For those of you who are new readers of the blog, I will, on occasion, post legit diary entries from my middle school and unfortunately, sometimes high school diary! It is merely for humors sake, to remind my friend Karen how far our friendship has come, and to keep me humble!

We left off during 8th grade. I was currently in madly in love with Craig and Clay and was super excited when they would call me a brain or make eye contact with me in the hall. I was furious at Karen for a while (probably because Clay made eye contact with her more than me... we kept a tally...yes, we were sooo cool!) , but we made up. And I was struggling through the beginnings of reformed theology and also struggling to land my tumbling passes at the gym! Yes, the diary covers all this. Pretty deep.... Right!!

We pick up today in my last week of 8th grade. May 27th to be exact.

Dear Diary,

Wuz ^? NMH! I am a studyhollic. I have been studying since 6:00. It's now 10:20. Talk about boring! Today was great!

I talked to Clay (yeah!) but something better happened. I was totally flirting with Grant all day. Ok, it all started at lunch! Ash + I were walking into the cafeteria and he goes, "hey cuties!" AHH!

Then, he stole this note out of my pocket. I just let him take it, I didn't care! Later, I was like "Hey, Grant, can I have my note back!" He told me where it was and I went and got it. When I got it, he goes "Hey, babe, did you get it?" Then he hit me in the stomach. He got this look on his face then goes, "Woa, your stomach is hard!" AHHH!

I heart him and Clay and Alex, but he (Grant) is going out with Leigh. Next year they probably won't go out cuz Leigh is leaving! Maybe we'll go out! Gotta study!

Luv ya- Caroline

Ok, so if that is not a great day and a clear sign that a boy is totally in love with you, I'm not sure what is! Even though he did have a girlfriend! (This diary has made me wonder if I might have been somewhat delusional!)

Think I might try to the whole note in the pocket thing up here at seminary and see how it goes! Although, I better not let the next boy punch me in the stomach! Pretty sure I wouldn't get the same reaction these days!

Well, gotta go! Until next time...

Eat More Chikin

Seriously, there is no greater place than Chik Fil A! (Ok, well maybe there is but for a poor seminary student who LOVES to eat out but has no money...there really is no greater place than Chik Fil A!)

I have always loved this beloved Chicken Establishment! I first loved it for it's oh so creative marketing schemes. All those cows with signs and banners saying "Eat More Chikin!" Those billboards never ceased to make me laugh as I made my commute to high school each morning!

I then loved Chik Fil A for its great food- those little nuggets, sensational waffle fries, and practically drinkable honey mustard! And then those lil chicken mini biscuits! As one of my friends described them today- God's gift to breakfast!! (I'm not sure the chickens would agree, but...

But I now love Chik Fil A for a new reason- FREE FOOD! (Those are some of the most beautiful words to me now! And sadly, I am not kidding!) But listen to how great this is. Our local Chik Fil A offers a free entree each and every monday if you bring your church bulletin with you! You simply turn in your bulletin and they in return hand the delicious chicken item of your choice!

I'm not sure if this is a STL thing or if it exists nation wide, but check into it at the Chik Fil A near you. I never heard about it in Dallas. I'm guessing because if they offered this deal in the Bible Belt they just might run out of chicken, out of money, and thus out of business... and those sweet advertising cows would end up on countless hamburgers instead of on roadside billboards across the nation!

Ok, I am off to do what I have procrastinated from all day... studying! Seriously, does it ever end? Don't answer that please! I don't want to know!

I will leave my closing remarks to some dear friends...

Going to Chapel

**Note, for those not reading too carefully, the title does not read "Going to THE Chapel." So for any of you who had gotten excited that I had gotten engaged within one month of being up here... I am so sorry to disappoint you! Check again in another month!

Haha..Right!

Anyways, the real title of intention of this post was to tell you about what has been one of the sweetest parts of my experience up here at Covenant so far... Going to Chapel.

Each Tuesday and Friday, the students, staff, faculty and families of Covenant gather together for a truly sweet season of worship- through singing, confession, prayer, and the preached word. Upon getting here, the advice over and over again has been - Go to chapel! Whatever you do, go to chapel! And from two short weeks, I can already see why this has been the overwhelming suggestion of most who have been a part of the community here!

What I have found in chapel is like water to my soul! It has beautiful opportunity for what I learned in class only moments before to descend from my head to my heart and leave my mouth in the form of confession or praise. It has been a place of release, where I can be so honest with the Lord about the gross realities of my life and then receive and be reminded of his grace for it. It has been a place of refuge in the midst of the body and before the Lord when my heart is heavy. It has been a place of rest from the great busyness and stress that already weighs on me. It has been a place of refreshment where I feel like my soul is just filled back up with the glorious truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It has been a place where I feel like I can just get lost- in the most amazing way, where I lose myself for even a few moments and get caught up in the glory of God and the wonder of the gospel!

I am so thankful for the fellowship of the body here, and really so thankful for the church. I often take for granted that the Lord did not call us to himself on an individual basis, but in calling us to himself, called us into a body, a community. That there is never a time as I walk on this earth, that I am in it alone. That I am surrounded by a cloud of witnesses that have gone before me and a community of fellow believers right now.

It is my hope and prayer that as school gets busier that the priority of going to chapel and of worship would not fade in light of the rising pressure of reading, tests, and papers. That the Lord would truly impress upon my heart the need to stop and worship, and that he would remind me of all the blessings I subsequently receive from it. And that I would never take for granted, the deep privilege it is to have this season in my life, where several times a week my day can stop and I can take place in corporate worship, and be caught up in wonder, love and praise!

Have a blessed Sunday!

He's Famous...

A few weeks ago, I posted a little blog about my Grandad who shot his second hole in one! This week he was honored in something far more exciting than my silly little blog- the paper. The Oak Cliff People to be exact! Anyways, here is his article!

It's about time they wrote about you Grandad! Love you!

Church Shopping

I grimace a little bit even as I type out the title to this post because there is something just not right in my mind about the whole concept of "church shopping." It is crazy how much our consumerism has seeped into our Christian culture- into my own heart- that church has become another place where we believe that we are entitled to have it "just the way we like it." I saw that so much in my heart in college, and have seen it resurface some in the past few weeks, and want so desperately to fight against it- that we might once again see the church as a worshipping body of which we are a part- to serve, to love, and to by God's grace, extend his kingdom.

But before I get carried away on a little soap box, my real intention of this post was to let you know that I believe today I found the church that I believe God is calling me to be a part of during my time here in STL, and I couldn't be more excited- South City Church.

I was initially so excited about the looking for a church or "church shopping" process but after only a few short weeks found myself so weary of it. As someone described to me this week, "I needed community like yesterday." Um, totally. And I also really needed a place to serve, to pour my life out "like yesterday" as well. And thus, I didn't want to spend my entire semester visiting all the 25+ PCA churches in STL plus all the other amazing churches up here. But after today, my second time at this church, I don't think I will even visit the remainder of the ones on my narrowed list and I am so thankful.

South City seems to be really be a church that exists in the city for the city- with its aim, by God's grace, to restore and redeem South City-St. Louis with the gospel of Jesus Christ for the glory of God! I am excited about the the community of believers that seem to be there and about all the opportunities to do life and ministry in South City.

* Today, they even announced a new ministry to STL which for those of you who know me will know how much it stirred my heart- a Safe House for victims of Sex Trafficking. (This has been such a deep burden on my heart for a long time and I am so anticipating how the Lord might allow me to get involved in his ministry of compassion to these girls through this church!)

I know there will be much more to say about the church, and what is doing and how God is allowing me to be a part over the next months and years. But I wanted to say thank you to all of you who have prayed for me and counseled me in this area. Please pray that I would truly grow through and give myself to the ministry of this church, and that God would this particular manifestation of his church to radically transform my heart and radically transform this city of which we are a part!

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

Just Call Me Dr. Doolittle

There are those who say that the entire populous can be divided simply into two kinds of people- dog people and cat people. But whoever those are seemed to have left out the rest of us- those who don't like animals at all.

I am definitely one of the latter. I realize this may come as a surprise to those who don't really know me, that it may offend some of you, may make some of you sad, and possibly, may make some of you stop reading this blog. But it is true, I do not like animals. I have virtually no affection for or affinity towards God's furry or feathery creatures.

I would like to blame this, what might seem to some, as a character flaw on Camp El Har. This day camp forces you to ride horses in a circle around a small arena. It always seemed that the one in front of me always needed to stop for a "restroom break" and I luckily, had a front row seat! Pretty sure I will be happy if I never get on a horse again!

My lack of heart for animals was revealed to me in 6th grade. One of my friends gave me what I am sure she thought was going to be the greatest of gifts- a hamster! Well, at least I hope she thought it was great because after I affectionately named it after my teacher and cleaned out Dori's cage once, I gave her back! Cleaning out a cage full of hamster poop- not my idea of a good time!

The next year, our family got our first and favorite dog! She was a mutt that my mom picked up for free at John's soccer game. Cinnamon was precious, sweet, and docile. Unfortunately, her sweet, docile personality was due to the fact that she was actually very sick. She died a few weeks later. We all hold Cinnamon in high esteem these days; her memory is fond in our minds and in our hearts- probably, sadly, because she was not around long enough for us to get sick of her.

My other experience with dogs is as follows- there was Hamilton, our beagle who chewed through the fence and ran away. Despite an all out search, or a drive to the donut store with their eyes closed, Dad and John never found him. He has, however, provided Dad and I with endless sermon/teaching illustrations about sin, the law, and the life that is found within God's boundaries. In the end, though his barking was more than obnoxious, he was good for something.

Then there was Bo, the black lab that I just HAD to have. Let's just say that after a while, I ceased to give Bo the attention he was due. Yeah, and that might be an understatement! We gave Bo away, those people gave him back. So we gave him away again, and then quickly changed our numbers and moved away. I am kidding- well, sort of.

Then there was Ernie. The dog my friend Mindy's now husband Josh gave her for her birthday! I believe Ernie has a keen sense that I was not his biggest fan, and was determined to win me over. Therefore, he was always jumping up on my bed...when he was wet... with fleas! After he continually barked all night, pooped all over the house, and ran away on more than one occasion, Mindy took him back to the SPCA. I was not opposed. Gosh, am I heartless? Do not answer that!

Along with a lack of affection, I also have a great fear of animals! My lack of heart for them coexists alongside an utter inability to know what to do when they are around. I lack that intuition of what to do and worse what they are able to do with me.

This summer when I was out at the Hawkins ranch for a few days by myself, I was deathly afraid of the cows out in the pasture. They would come up to the fence right around the pool and just stare at me. As I would watch them stealthily approach the fence, a deep fear rose within me. I determined that I absolutely could not make eye contact, in case they saw something in my eyes that would make them want to charge me! I could just picture myself getting attacked by the cow and and left all alone in the wilds of Texas!

Ok, so why am I writing this post today? Because this morning on my walk around the neighborhood, I had a near death run in with some St. Louis wildlife. It appears that up here in Missouri they do not separate the wildlife preserves from the city. Strange. And yet another reason for me to believe that we not only do things bigger, but also better in Texas!

So, this morning I was casually- I mean powerfully- walking along when what do I come across but some deer. It appeared to be a dad, a mom, and a baby- to use technical animal terms. I don't have much experience with deer, but remember from Bambi that deer don't particularly like people. What was I to do? Should I turn back or forge courageously ahead? Filled with courage, I went ahead and I opted again for the no eye contact method. I figured it seemed to work alright with the cows, as well as in elevators and on crowded streets when you don't wan't people to talk to you. So, with great bravery, I proceeded to stare intensely at the sidewalk and stroll on by. It worked and I figured I was in the clear.

That is until my way home. I rounded the last corner only to be met by a sight I had never seen before- a whole pack of what I could only assume to be wild turkeys! I was literally paralyzed with fear, and began having those "when you are awake nightmares" of being viciously attacked by the rather gross birds and being pecked to death. I mean, they probably do have it out for me, I have been eating their friends on my sandwiches pretty much daily for as long as I can remember. I decided to attempt to do that which was anything but natural and stay calm, stare at the sidewalk, and again casually stroll by. Thankfully, it worked. But I did however pick up the speed a bit when I heard a strange sound and swear I saw that gross daddy turkey coming towards me from the corner of my eye.

For those of you who are still reading and those of you who care, I am very thankful that I escaped the ravages of the wilds here in STL and am now sitting comfortably it the animal free student center her at school. What I did not escape however, was the request of one of my new friends to take care of his hamster for 3 days while he and his wife do some work in their house! Looks like I am a people pleaser over and above and animal hater! And I am going to go ahead and say that's a good thing.

Hope y'all have a great day! Stay out of the way of animals, but if you do happen to come across one of those furry and feathery beasts- just keep your eyes on the ground! Works like a charm!