It's Back...Dear Diary

It's ironic, I figured I would have a lot more blogging material when I moved up here to St. Louis but for some reason, it seems to be incredibly lacking! Not sure what that says about me, but we'll leave that for another time and place.

I woke up super early this morning, and as I was laying in bed was thinking about what I would post next on the blog! Obviously, because isn't that what everyone thinks about when they mysteriously wake up early on a Sunday morning?! But anyways, I was deep in thought and then it hit me.... the diary! Somehow it got lost in the midst of quitting my job, moving, and starting school. But as of today, she is back!

**For those of you who are new readers of the blog, I will, on occasion, post legit diary entries from my middle school and unfortunately, sometimes high school diary! It is merely for humors sake, to remind my friend Karen how far our friendship has come, and to keep me humble!

We left off during 8th grade. I was currently in madly in love with Craig and Clay and was super excited when they would call me a brain or make eye contact with me in the hall. I was furious at Karen for a while (probably because Clay made eye contact with her more than me... we kept a tally...yes, we were sooo cool!) , but we made up. And I was struggling through the beginnings of reformed theology and also struggling to land my tumbling passes at the gym! Yes, the diary covers all this. Pretty deep.... Right!!

We pick up today in my last week of 8th grade. May 27th to be exact.

Dear Diary,

Wuz ^? NMH! I am a studyhollic. I have been studying since 6:00. It's now 10:20. Talk about boring! Today was great!

I talked to Clay (yeah!) but something better happened. I was totally flirting with Grant all day. Ok, it all started at lunch! Ash + I were walking into the cafeteria and he goes, "hey cuties!" AHH!

Then, he stole this note out of my pocket. I just let him take it, I didn't care! Later, I was like "Hey, Grant, can I have my note back!" He told me where it was and I went and got it. When I got it, he goes "Hey, babe, did you get it?" Then he hit me in the stomach. He got this look on his face then goes, "Woa, your stomach is hard!" AHHH!

I heart him and Clay and Alex, but he (Grant) is going out with Leigh. Next year they probably won't go out cuz Leigh is leaving! Maybe we'll go out! Gotta study!

Luv ya- Caroline

Ok, so if that is not a great day and a clear sign that a boy is totally in love with you, I'm not sure what is! Even though he did have a girlfriend! (This diary has made me wonder if I might have been somewhat delusional!)

Think I might try to the whole note in the pocket thing up here at seminary and see how it goes! Although, I better not let the next boy punch me in the stomach! Pretty sure I wouldn't get the same reaction these days!

Well, gotta go! Until next time...

Dear Diary: Boy Crazy

Ok, I have always known that I was a little bit boy crazy. But this is just ridiculous! 

Karen, the good news is- we are friends again!  And I totally remember this night! Haha!

For those of you who don't know, Karen is one of my very, very best friends and has been for about 13 years. Just wanted to clarify since she has gotten a lot negative press thus far in the diary entries!

And for all the rest of you... here you go, for your reading pleasure! 

Dear Diary,  May 11, 1996 (a few months later)

Hey, I am so in love with Clay! He is the hottest guy I've ever met! I love him so much more than any guy I've ever liked before! He is so SWEET! I love him to death. My gosh, I'm crazy about him.

Last night Karen and I went to the Rangers game. It was awesome! First these guys hit on us! We found out later that they were SENIORS! Awesome, huh?!? Then these other guys came to sit by us. They were hics from Greenville! But they were freshmen. We were also hit on by a kid who looked like he was in the fourth grade! Oh well, the only bad thing is that we didn't see Clay! 

I decided that if Clay doesn't like me, I'd like him to like Karen. Who is better to like than my best friend? If she gets him, I'd be a little upset, but I wouldn't hate her. She deserves him. 

Well, gotta go! 

Luv in Christ-

Caroline

* Just in case you were dying to know...Clay and I never dated, and neither did he and Karen for that matter! 

Oh, and I am praying he NEVER reads this!!! 

In Christ, 

Caroline

Philippians 2:5

dear diary: karen, craig, gymnastics, and calvinism

For your humor and my humility, I give to you the next diary entry. Unfortunately, everything that follows is actually recorded in that sweet little yellow book, in green pen in fact (I appear to have switched colors every day. Gotta make it cute ya know?!)

Dear Diary,  Oct. 17, 1995 (6 days after last post)

Hey, wuz up? NMH!

Today was fine I made a 100 on my math quiz! Finally! Coach Hatton said Christ didn't die for everyone.* I'm confused. I made a 98 on my history double quiz.

Im furious at Karen now. I told her I wasn't having my b-day party with Chad. She told me I had to. I was like, I'm sorry, I'm not. She told me I was rude. I just don't want to have my party with Chad. I told her to choose 1 or the other. She told me if I was going to be that way, she picked chad. I'll have my party by myself!!

Gym was ok. I didn't release flic-flic but some tick-tock-flicks. Floor was fine. Dawn was in a rotten mood. I did round-off flic, whip, 1 1/2 on the tumble track. My pick tsuks were good! My front-giants sucked! I went from good to horrible? How?

I heart Craig! He was so nice to me today. He called me brain. I told him to shut up. He told me he was kidding + gave me a friendly hug. Ahh! I love him to death. FOREVER! We're not even a couple. I don't know if he likes me. Oh well. I still love him.

Love, Caroline

Ash and I have some siamese twin thing goin. 

* This was my first introduction to the theology of limited atonement. Clearly, I gave it a lot of thought! 

Again, please don't judge me:)

And Karen, I'm sorry.

In Christ, 

Caroline.... Phil. 2:5

Dear Diary

If you know me at all, you probably know this...I save absolutely everything! Boxes currently fill my closets, the closets at my parents house, the shelves in their garage, and all of the space under my bed- full of every picture ever taken, every year book I'd ever been given, every paper ever written, every note ever received. 

If you know me at all, you also know that I am extremely sentimental. And this sentimentality sends me rummaging through all of these closets and boxes to get a little taste, a little reminder of the good old days:) 

Sometimes however, upon discovering a picture or a note or my jr. high yearbook, I realize that the good old days were not quite as good as I thought. Or at least that I was not exactly how remembered myself to be. 

Nothing was more enlightening than the jewel I found in my closet a few years back- my diary! 

What a treasure this thing has been- with every word on every page, I have had to ask the question, "was I really serious?". Shamefully, I WAS- extremely serious! A truth which seriously makes me want to cry or at least cringe a little. 

But more than anything, it has provided hours on endless entertainment and laughter- not just for me, but also for many of you. My sister Lindsay and I nearly wet our pants the night we found it. 

Then I took it home to my roommates at the time Karen and Lucy, for another round of laughs. Karen has been my friend since we were 12 and is mentioned quite often, unfortunately in often in this context "Karen is driving me crazy." Sorry, Karen!

My shameful rantings and ravings in the diary also provided great entertainment for our youth group a few years back as we made it into a video! My friend Johnny, read each entry aloud in a bath robe..pretty funny. No more pretending in front of "my girls" that I was more mature than they are at their age!

My good freinds Frank and Susan kept it at their house for a few months. Sus, would bring it out and read it if she'd had a bad day. She said it would always do the trick to cheer her up!

Anyways, it is funny, sad, and extremely shameful all at the same time. But many of you have requested that I put a few entries up on the blog. I figure I can't be anymore humiliated, and everyone likes a few laughs. So, your request has been granted. I will put some up from time to time.

 But on one condition...please don't judge me.

Here you go...This one is crowd favorite:

Dear Diary,  Oct. 11, 1995 (8th Grade)

I am so pissed at my parents. Oh my gosh! Okay, so Jill is having her bday party on Saturday. She's one of my best friends right? Well, I can't go. John is joining the church on Sunday. But that is not even the main reason I can't go. His stupid best friend is getting baptized by my dad. Whoopee!! Th is what my mom said, "We've been praying for him for years." So what, I haven't! So they can all go! Go for it! I have to go to something for one of John's best friends instead of one of mine? I'm so sure! They make me so pissed off (this was underlined in the diary!). I always miss parties for crappy family stuff. I missed Kim's party for Jackie and Pop's house. Everyone said that was the BEST party, even as good as Gigi's! I also missed Amanda's for the same reason. Everyone came to the gym with all these inside jokes. I felt so out of it. Why can't I have my life and and my family have theirs. Gosh. Life Sucks!

School was fine, I went on a mission trip. Gym was fine. Nothing big happened. I stuck a series. 

In Christ-

Caroline

Philippians 2:5*

* Phil. 2:5 says your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus! 

Again, please don't judge me. 

Another entry coming soon. Unfortunately, I just get older from here...

Until then, 

Caroline...Phil. 2:5