Bad Dreams...

This will be a rather short post, but just wanted to ask for your thoughts, your insights, and for any of you counselors or dream interpreters out there- your professional opinions:

What does it mean when my bad dreams still involve my high school cheerleading days?

This morning, I woke up with my heart still racing from this bad dream, or could we call it a nightmare. I was running around like crazy, emptying every drawer, calling friends for help because I had to cheer at that very moment, and my red bloomers were no where to be found. And there was no way I was going to where the blue ones. They weren't what the rest of the squad was wearing and so didn't go with the white uniform.

Oh, and to make things worse, tryouts were the next day and my hurkies totally stunk!

Clearly a nightmare...

Unfortunately, a nightmare applying to events from 10 years ago!

So yeah, I'm pretty sure I need some help!

The First Day of School...

Well friends, it finally got here. And when I say 'finally', I do mean finally- the first day of school.

Walking onto campus this morning felt like a complete out of body experience. As I got out of the car and walked to class I couldn't help but think of a friend of mine who posted sweet pictures of her children going back to school yesterday on her blog. The specific photo I had in mind was the one of her son crying in his dad's arms, a little bit anxious about the day ahead. I just kept thinking to myself "my sentiments exactly", and wishing my dad was here to drop me off at class.

* Note: this would not be the first time my dad was with me at my first day of grad school. Last year, I was taking a few classes in Dallas. On my first day of Greek, who I am greeted by when I walk out of class? My dad! He was just coming up to "look around the bookstore"- oh yeah, the one we didn't have:) Haha. I love you, Dad. We have a bookstore here, so feel free to come on up and check it out anytime!

Ok, so back to school. First class today: Sermon Preparation and Delivery. Now you might be wondering why I am in this class. My admissions counselor and the class TA assured me that this was the class for me. But as I walked in this morning to a room full of at least 60 men, I wondered the exact same thing. And I am pretty sure they did too.

It brought me back to my college days, where on the first day of class, as I walked in and sat down, I had this strange sense that I didn't quite belong there. This strange sense was confirmed when the teacher walked in, started speaking in Russian, and oddly enough, the whole class actually understood the strange sounds that were coming out of her mouth. That day I politely excused myself and proceeded to find my actual class that was right across the hall- in English!

But today, this was my correct class, so I was sitting there rather awkwardly and super intimidated. (I am sure you who know me can get a pretty good picture of what this looked like!) That is until, the one and only other girl, walked in right as class was starting. I think you could see the relief just sweet across my face! I introduced myself to her and only her (don't want to be THAT girl) after class. And now am feeling great about the class. I am pretty sure when its over I will be ready for my ordination in the PCA..

Haha. Right. For any of you who are freaking out, please sense the sarcasm:)

Overall the rest of the day went great. Spent some time studying in the student center. And by studying I really mean surfing the internet, drinking diet coke, and making new friends. Who really studies on the first day anyways?

I am really excited about my classes tomorrow, and am excited about the canoe trip I am going on on Saturday. Umm, could be a little scary. I am not the best at canoeing. And when I say 'not the best' I mean not good at all. Hopefully, I will arrive back home safe and sound and be here on the blog Sunday to give you a full report.

Thanks for all your prayers, calls, texts, etc. today. They were much appreciated. I sure have great friends! Have a great weekend!

On Boasting...

I will not boast in anything, no gifts no power no wisdom,

But I will boast in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection.

Why should I gain from his reward? I cannot give an answer,

But this I know with all my heart, his wounds have paid my ransom.

I have sung these words, to this, one of my very favorite hymns, many times and in many different contexts. But on Friday, as I sung them in our new student convocation here at the seminary, these familiar words fell upon my heart in a brand new way.

The reality is that most of the time, I cannot say, I cannot sing these first two lines truthfully. Because the greater reality is that I actually do boast, find so much pride in so many other things- futile things, insignificant things, honestly, ridiculous things to boast in, but things I boast in nonetheless.

I have seen this so so much in myself even in my time here so far. I have found myself over and over again boasting in where I am from, my experiences, my gifts, the job I used to possess, the church I used to attend, the people I used to work with or for, good things like my friends and family, and really shallow things that I am not totally willing at this point to expose to an internet full of random strangers:)

This boasting is sometimes in the words I say, is most often present in the thoughts I think, and is deeply rooted in my heart- flowing out into my life in ways I see and ways I am sure I don't.

As I stood and sang those words on Friday night, I was overwhelmed by the thought, the imperative that this, these words, must become my prayer. And so it is that as I start school tomorrow and fully embark on this new season of my life that I make this my prayer- that the Lord by his tender graces and often severe mercy would humble me in such a way that I truly will not boast in anything- no gifts, no power, no wisdom, but I will boast in Jesus Christ his death and resurrection.

A dear friend sent me this quote on humility from John Piper the other day which really struck me, "Humility is the one grace in all our graces, that if we gaze upon it, becomes something else. It flourishes when the gaze is elsewhere- on the greatness of the grace of God in Christ."

If you are one of those who prays for me, would you please pray that I would truly fix my eyes, fix my gaze on Jesus Christ, that all my other pride and other boasting would be swallowed up by the overwhelming reality of the grace of God in Christ towards one such as me, and that my heart would be changed to boast in Christ and in Christ alone!

To Him be the Glory!

Cheers to You...Happy Birthday, Linds!

Today is a very big day for my sister, Lindsay! First of all, it is her 21st Birthday!!! In addition, it is also her first day of her senior year of college, the day she auditions for all her fall shows, and perhaps, most exciting- the day she gets a blog post on Simply Full dedicated completely to her:)

Ok, so maybe that is not the most exciting of all these things, but regardless- Lindsay- this blog post is to you!

HAPPY, HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!

Lindsay, you are not only my sister but truly my dearest and favorite friend! And though you are my "little" sister, I look up to you and admire you in so many ways!

I admire the way you have the courage to pursue your dreams.

I admire how hard you work at everything in your life!

I admire the way you sing and soo wish I could do it!

I admire your confidence in who you are in Christ and in exactly who he has made you to be.

I admire your humility that is mixed with this confidence. It is real humility, and such a reflection of Jesus!

I admire your integrity in everything!

I admire the way that you love people- faithfully, authentically, and without question! One of my favorite things is to see how all the different people in your life just adore you for you who are- because you have loved them, without question, for exactly who they are!

You teach me so much, my sweet sister, and I just love you!

For all of Lindsay's auditions over the past few years, I have been known to write her a cheer! It is pretty much all I can contribute due to my lack of talent and how stinkin nervous I get at those auditions! Linds, I seriously don't know how you do it all the time! But here you, a birthday and audition cheer all in one!

Ready...Hit it...

Happy Birthday, Linds! You are 21!

I hope your day is so much fun!

Finally, old enough to drink a beer!

And so here you go, your birthday cheer!

Enjoy your day, have fun at class!

And tonight at auditions, go kick some...tail!

The greatest actress in all the school!

You are sure to make those directors drool!

From your songs and from those parts you read!

They will just be dying to make you the lead!

But as you sing, and dance, and read your lines!

Don't forget who is cheering for you- your biggest fan, your favorite sister- Caroline!

Have a great day, Linds! I LOVE YOU!

Random Ramblings from STL...

Well friends, I have had a request to update the blog. And by "a" request, I do mean one. So Lindsay, this post is for you. Seriously, no rhyme or reason to this post here. Literally, just random ramblings from STL. For those of you who are not interested in this post, stay tuned for Monday's, it is going to be really special.

**Yes, I do sometimes plan out my blog posts days in advance. This may not be very bloggerish of me. But its my blog, I can do what I want:)

Ok, so anyways, back to the Random Ramblings from STL...

Random Rambling #1...On driving.

Learning my way around a new city = wasting a lot of gas. Tonight, I figured I would take "short cut" on my commute home from the seminary. My commute as of now is 6 whole minutes. Tonight I took a different turn out of the parking lot...25 minutes later, after a few REALLY dark streets, clearly a couple of wrong turns, and even a few episodes of backing up at an intersection I arrived home safe and sound. Definitely the route from here on out!

In addition, last week I printed out two pictures at Walmart to finish off the frames in my room. Total price of pictures- 47 cents! Well, it ends up that the Walmart I printed them off at was probably a good 20 miles away. Total spent on gas getting to and from Walmart- definitely more than 47 cents!

Random Rambling #2... On things I miss from Texas (besides people obviously).

Texas U-Turns. Never really knew how great they were until you didn't have them. Texas High School Football...ok really just the cheerleaders and the Belles from the games! But whatever, I miss it. Go Scots! Mexican Food. Not cool when Chipotle is now my idea of eating some good Tex-Mex. If you are tired of me blogging about Mexican food, there is any easy way to fix that...SEND ME SOME! Would MiCocina keep in the mail?

Random Rambling #3...On things I don't miss from Texas

... the 100 degree heat! It has been in the 70's here the past few days! What what! Can't remember the last time I wore a light jacket or wanted to sit outside on an August afternoon!

Random Rambling #4...On Sorority Rush...

I am still SOO into it. I tend to make fun of those women who are still into it so far out of college. Kinda scared I am going to be one seeing as I have been shamelessly stalking all my girls on facebook trying to see what they are pledging! To all my little Aggie girls, I have a subtle message for you...THINK THETA!

Random Rambling #5... On making friends.

Guess what! I finally made some!

Legit text sent to mom and dad last night after our new students welcome reception: "I made some friends!"

Legit response from mom "Wow! I am so excited for you! Call me later."

Don't worry I am really cool!!:)

I guess that is it for the random ramblings. Stay tuned for Monday's post, sure to be better than this one!

And since I can't have Tex-Mex food, I will leave you with a Tex-Mex farewell...

ADIOS AMIGOS!!!

The Mercy of God...

Hey friends! I read this last night in my Spurgeon's Morning and Evening. It truly was like water to my soul as I "meditated a little on the mercy of the Lord." Hopefully, it will be of great encouragement to you as well.

Meditate a little on this mercy of the Lord. It is a tender mercy. With gentle, loving touch, He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. He is as gracious in the manner of His mercy as in the matter of it.

It is great mercy. There is nothing little in God; His mercy is like himself- it is infinite. You cannot measure it. His mercy is so great that it forgives great sins to great sinners, after great lengths of time, and then gives great favours and great privileges, and raises us up to great enjoyments in the great heaven of the great God.

It is undeserved mercy, as indeed all true mercy must be, for deserved mercy is only a misnomer for justice. There was no right on the sinner's part to the kind consideration of the Most High; has the rebel been doomed at once to eternal fire he would have richly merited the doom, and if delivered from wrath, sovereign love alone has found a cause for their was none in the sinner himself.

It is rich mercy. Some things are great but have little efficacy in them, but this mercy is cordial to your drooping spirits; a golden ointment to your bleeding wounds; a heavenly bandage to your broken bones; a royal chariot for your weary feet; a bosom of love for your trembling heart.

It is manifold mercy. As Bunyan says, 'All the flowers in God's garden are double'. There is no single mercy. You may think you have but one mercy, but you shall find it to be a whole cluster of mercies.

It is abounding mercy. Millions have received it, yet far from its being exhausted, it is as fresh, as full, and as free as ever.

It is unfailing mercy. It will never leave thee. If mercy be thy friend, mercy will be with thee in temptation to keep thee from yielding; with thee in trouble to prevent thee from sinking; with thee living to be the light and life of thy countenance; and with thee dying to be the joy of thy soul when earthly comfort is ebbing fast.

Maybe on the Next Aisle...

Well, this title doubly describes my experience shopping at Schnucks this afternoon. Schnucks is the local grocer up here in St. Louis and I am pretty sure I will be a faithful shopper at Schnucks merely because of the name. Seriously, not much cooler than a store named Schnucks. Ok, maybe there is. But I just like saying it. Gives me a good laugh every time. Schnucks! Schnucks! Schnucks! :) Love it!

Also, for a good laugh there is a place nearby called Straubs. Not sure what they sell there, but whatever it is, I am going! Seriously, I am just getting in a good chuckle every time I drive down the street. But all this talk about Schnucks and Straubs, no matter how fun it is, is besides the point!

My experience shopping at Schnucks made me just a little bit sad and a little bit homesick. For probably a couple of reasons...

1. The fact that I was grocery shopping in general, and not going to dinner at MiCocina. I just love eating out and am maybe a little depressed that I no longer have the money to do so. Honestly though, there really aren't any great restaurants around here anyways- how could there be with no Mexican food. Who knows maybe I'll actually enjoy grocery shopping then. Dallas peeps, enjoy, we know food down there!

2. The fact that some of the few grocery items I do enjoy, I could not find on the shelves of Schnucks...like Honey Wheat Pretzels, good flat bread, my weight watchers yogurts, and duh... Blue Bell Ice Cream.

3. The fact that in my one hour- that's right, one hour of grocery shopping, I did not run into a single person that I knew! I found myself just hoping- maybe on the next aisle! Now, I realize that this is highly unlikely seeing as I know like 4 people in STL and they probably go to a different Schnucks! But regardless, I would get kind of excited every time I rounded my way to the next aisle, only to be faced with a bunch of random strangers.

I think that is one of the things I am going to miss the most- always having to allow for a few extra minutes for each of your errands because you are sure going to run into someone that you know. When a trip to the grocery store for me always inevitably included a few little chats with my girls, their parents, my friends!

Community is special and it is sweet. And it is such a joy and privilege to just do life with people. Today, I am missing that community I have at home- the faces I'd run into at the store, at the Y, and at JD's while I was getting my diet coke, the people that would honk and stop while I was on a walk.

But I am also hopeful and anxiously looking forward to the community that God will provide for me here- a people, friends, to live with and do life with, to know and be known by, to love and be loved by, a people with whom to share life, share joys, share burdens, share laughs. It's neat to think about the reality that some of the strangers I saw today- at lunch, at the coffee shop, at the store- may just become friends with whom I share my life and my heart!

What a day it will be when I have friends at Schnucks!! :) Can't wait!

For now, to my community, my friends, my fam, my girls in Dallas...I love and miss you! I'm so abundantly thankful for the community I have had and will always have with you!

Howdy from St. Louis...

Friends, family, and internet blogging pals...

"Greetings" from St. Louis, MO- also known as the Gateway to the West. Not sure what all that means, but I will get on my STL history and let you know ASAP!

I apologize for the delay in the blogging update, and promise to be better in the days ahead. Much has happened over the past few days. And since a picture is worth a thousand words, I give you many pictures and just a few words...

Karen, Me, Mindy, and Lucy getting ready to head off to STL. These three of my very best friends graciously offered to help me drive my car up to St. Louis...oh, and my Uhaul full of stuff. They could probably think of another word for it. I will just call it stuff- important stuff.

We tried to document each of us driving the U-Haul. Here are Lucy and I at stop #2! We were all pretty proud of our U-Haul driving. I think I may just be ready for my job at UPS!!

Our first St. Louis adventure... the Cardinals game! Nothing like a hot dog, a margarita, and Albert Pujols hitting a home run to welcome us to STL. We had a great time!

This is the City Museum. The weirdest, but maybe the most fun place in STL. It is like a massive McDonald's play place... but much better, and still super fun for those of us who are now over 36" tall. We had a blast! Come visit and I will take you there!

There are caves in this museum. Here I am venturing into a dark hole, an unknown abyss all alone. Hopefully this is not metaphoric of my move to STL!

Just call us Jonah! Hanging out in the mouth of a fish!

Here Lucy is coming out of a hole of rubber gloves! Nasty...yes! But a great pic!

Loved this pic of Karen in the mirrors!

Blueberry Hill... one of the most famous restaurants in all of St. Louis. There is a wall of pictures of the famous people who have eaten there! Next to go on the wall... Karen, Lucy, Mindy, and Caroline. Be sure to look for us when you go!

I have moved in with a great family here in STL who have graciously allowed me to live in their basement while I get my feet on the ground. This is my super cute room. I put it together all by myself!

Haha! Right! I NEVER hung even a thing on the walls my last 2 years at the Hawkins. Chalk this one up to my wedding planner best friends and my pal, Lucy! They did an amazing job. And my cute little room really feels like home!

Little desk area! They managed to use every decorative thing I had in one room...every picture, every cross. They even let me put all my books on the bookshelves! Thanks girls! Ya'll are the greatest!

Overall, things have been pretty good. Other than my mini breakdown the first night I was here, I have felt really at peace. (I woke up at 4 am wanting to go home!) I was so thankful for my friends being here and helping get adjusted. And now, I am even thankful for the Greek test I have to take on Thursday because it gives me something to do to fill my days!

Best part of today....I found a coffee shop to study at with free Wi-Fi and unlimited refills of Diet Coke. If this is any indication of what STL is like, I am pretty sure I am going to like it here.

Worst part of today...watching Nastia and the other American Gymnasts perform in Dallas from my bedroom in St. Louis. But whatever, I'm over it!

Right...

Seriously, thank you for your love, support, texts, calls, emails, and prayers! They have been so appreciated and the prayers so felt. I am missing all my sweet friends and fam in Dallas! But so looking forward to what's ahead!

I'll keep you posted. So be sure to tune in to the blog every once in a while!

It has been so rich...

That's how I would describe my last week here in Dallas. I have felt totally full and so satisfied for the past week. On occasion I have maybe even felt a little sick, but that's because I have effectively eaten my way through these past few days.

I made a list of restaurants I wanted to eat at before I left, and sure enough have checked them all off. But... Eating at all my favorite places in one week= eating a whole lot of things that aren't that good for me. And thus, I haven't felt all that well. :)

The richness I am feeling tonight however has little to do with the meals I have eaten, but rather so much more to do with the people with whom I have shared them. It is the richness of these deep friendships that make me feel so full tonight.

It is also however the richness of these friendships that has left me crying in my empty room much of the day today. Someone once told me that tears were the sign of a full heart, and today, more than ever I believe that to be true! My heart is full of thankfulness and joy and love as I reflect on how gracious and good the Lord has been to me in all the many relationships in my life and especially in these past 5+ years. But my heart also breaks as I think about leaving all of this, all of these people that I love so much, as I leave for St. Louis early Tuesday morning!

From my precious high school and college girls, to my incredible girl friends here in Dallas, to my amazing friends from work, to my PCPC family, to wonderful family with whom I have lived, to the incredible women who have poured their life into me, to my awesome extended family, and to my precious parents and brother and sister...the Lord has blessed me over and abundantly, so far beyond what I deserve, so far beyond all I could ask or imagine. And tonight, as I think about each of the people with whom I have shared my life I just couldn't be more thankful.

For all of you that have been a part of my life here these past few years- you have truly filled my cup, made my life so full of joy, so rich, so sweet. I love you dearly!

They say home is where the heart is. So...Dallas, Texas you are home! For as I drive away, so much of my heart stays here- a heart that's full, a heart that's thankful, a heart that's been blessed by the richness that has come from all my friendships with all of you! I LOVE YOU!!

Hole-In-One...AGAIN!!!

I just wanted to give a HUGE shout out to my Grandad, the golfing-extraordinaire, who made a Hole-In-One today!

Oh, and for the second time this year!

Grandad is 84 years old has been playing this very course for 70 years! A few months ago, he got his very first hole in one! He actually was sort of confused when he got to the green and couldn't find his ball. His friend was looking around for it, and all of a sudden exclaimed, "Buddy, it's in the hole!!"

Today, while Grandad was on that same course, on the exact same hole in fact, he again hit the ball with perfection. But this he time got to bask in all his glory because he actually saw it go in!

When we called to congratulate him today, Lindsay and I asked if we could please speak with the golf pro. He proudly answered, "You've got him!"

Congratulations Grandad! I love you and am so proud of you!

And thanks for proving that golfing skills like many things just get better with age. You've given me hope! Maybe in 60 years I will actually be able to make contact with the ball!!

Guess What!!!...

I met NASTIA today!!! 

It was just awesome! A few days ago I received a text message from my friend Ruth which read, "Do you want to go meet Nastia on Saturday?"

Um, obviously!! 

As you all know I am obsessed with gymnastics and have been dying to run into Nastia Liukin before I left for STL. It has been one of my 2 goals- the other meeting President Bush. So, let's just say, no matter what I had to do today I was not going to miss out on this opportunity. 

Today Nastia was signing autographs at an AT&T store close by. So I gathered up my things to have her autograph. Luckily, in all my cleaning out I could not bring my self to part with the newspaper articles from the Olympics and the US Weekly with her picture on the front. 

So yeah, I gathered up all my gear and about noon picked up Ruth and we headed up to AT&T. There was soo much excitement in the car. You have no idea. 

We pulled up, got in the line, and waited anxiously to meet the Olympic Champion. 

There were a bunch of other folks there as well. Ironically, not as many little aspiring Olympic Champions as we had expected!! Creepily, there were quite a few men older than me there by themselves. (I personally don't think they should have been allowed inside!) These fans, however were our favorties!

Here is Nastia signing autographs!!

Ruth with her pal...

My autographed paper and picture! Pretty sure these will look great on the walls of my room in STL...right next to my posters of Celine and Clay Aiken! 

Needless to say, this has been an incredible day! I am just ecstatic that I got to meet Nastia. And it pretty much makes up for the fact that I can't to go the National Championships next week! 

To all you bloggers out there, let me offer you a bit of encouragement... Dreams really do come true!!

Just Kidding!

Well, not really!!! 

Happy Saturday!!