On My Mind

I read this the other day. Haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Praying this means that God will use these words to really change me. 

Isn't it interesting that in Acts 11, at the end of verse 26, it says, "The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch." What I find interesting is the simple thought that Christians didn't name themselves. But rather they were called (or named) "Christians" by those watching their lives. I wonder if it would be the same today. Could someone look at your life or look at my life and name me a Christian? A humbling question for sure.

- Chris Tomlin, from Intro to Crazy Love by Francis Chan

Death by Yoga

I do not consider myself to be a particularly paranoid person, but today I became acutely aware of something: my yoga teacher is trying to kill me. 

I just had this hunch from the beginning of class today that death was looming in the room. It was confirmed when we did not even get to start in child's pose, and from the fact that I am convinced she was giving me the evil "stink-eye" as she peered back at me through the mirror. 

And then it started, her attempt to take my life. 

Her weapon: the endless series of hover-plank-hover-up dog:

HOVER...

PLANK...

HOVER...

UP DOG...

Seriously? I mean does she not know that it was spring break this week, and that most of us had been lazily laying on the beach sipping pinas all day? 

Ok, well I hadn't. But didn't she know everyone else had?

I guess i just wanted to write this post to let all my faithful readers (I guess this just really means mom...but whatever), that I narrowly escaped death this morning around 11:55 am. But I did escape nonetheless. 

However, if you do not hear from me after next Saturday around noon, here is a clue:

It was Kari...In the Yoga Room...

With the Chair...

Namaste-

Caroline

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

For years one of my best friends and I have talked about staring a blog about our dating lives. And honestly, I really hope we will one day. Our friends tell us it will be pretty funny. (Not exactly sure what that means:)). But for now, that project has been postponed... maybe because we are too busy, possibly because we are not ready to put such self-deprecating information on the world wide web, but probably because there might be an appalling lack of content. 

But anyways, if we were to start this blog, my experience this past weekend would for sure be on it. And thus, I share it with you:

Dating in your twenties can be a really fun, but more often than not a really funny experience. And for all of you that got married right out of college you are definitely missing out on something:) 

Dating is also something I am personally not really good at. I tend to get extremely awkward around the boys who I have a crush on... you know, saying stupid things, constantly putting my hair back behind my ears, and not looking them in the eye. But the ones who I don't have a crush on, I have nooo problem being myself. Thus it tends to be the latter who give you the offer of a date. I mean who wants to ask out the weird fidgety girl who keeps looking at the ceiling. 

And this past weekend, I got the offer of a life time. 

I was with our high school and middle school kids on our mission trip to Austin. On Sunday we worshipped at Church Under the Bridge- a congregation of primarily homeless men and women that literally meets under 1-35 in downtown Austin. Its pretty amazing! Our primary goal while we are there is to get to know these men and women and their stories, worship alongside them, and pray with them. And most of the time this is what happens. 

But not for me....

I see this one man (we'll call him Bob:)) from across the parking lot. He smiles at me so I figure he is up for a chat. After a brief introduction, I realize an evangelistic chat was not really what he had in mind. He asks me how long we are in town. I respond saying we are here till Tuesday. He then responds by asking me what I was doing Monday around 5? And would I like to meet up to go for a ride on his motorcycle? 

Seriously? I have never been on a motorcycle date. It could be pretty fun to be a biker babe. I think I'd wear a leather jacked and helmet quite nicely.

But seriously? I told him that unfortunately I had some responsibilities with our kids that I just didn't think  I could get out of.

Bob said that was fine. But that he'd love to keep in touch. And that if I ever came back to Austin, that motorcycle invite was still valid.  For sure!!

He then handed me his card, which read:

Bob

How can I help?

Fast Problem Solving!

And 4 Relaxing Excitement:

Free Motor Cycle Rides (Ladies)

Call Twentyfour/Seven

and on the back:

Good Times with No Drama

Finally!!! What I have been looking for this whole time!

**I left out his actual contact info, but if YOU in fact are looking for Good Times with No Drama, I've got the card handy!!

On the Road Again

Well in just a few short hours I will be on the road with 40 middle school and high school students on our way to the capital city of the Lone Start State! The Austin Trip, as we have so creatively called it these past few years, is one of my very favorite trips that we take. We will spend the next few days exposing our kids and really ourselves to various types of ministry- in the inner city, to the homeless, to ex-convicts, and behind the scenes in a food bank. 

Please pray for us! Please pray that the Lord would really transform our hearts! Our focus for the trip is out of James 1 when he writes that we must be "doers of the word, not hearers only, thus deceiving ourselves." In a Christian culture like ours, we can be soo saturated with the Word of God and yet our lives are tragically unaffected. I see this so much in my kids, but I really see it so much in myself. And I hate it. The Lord has been stirring up so much in my heart lately (I'll write more on this later), but please pray that this trip would really change me. It's pretty easy for me to lead a trip and hope it changes the kids. But this time it is me who really needs a heart change.

Also, please, please, please pray for the trip down. If you look out your window it is currently raining. The forecast for the next few days is nothing but rain rain rain. Imagine driving down 1-35, 5-oclock traffic, the pouring rain, and a bunch of high school girls screaming out the insightful lyrics of the Jo-Bros  at the top of their lungs for 4 straight hours. (Jonas Brothers for those of you who are not quite as hip as myself). Quite the perilous journey, if I do say so myself. Especially since I just went to Enterprise Rent-a Car and picked up the keys to THIS...

...The 15 passenger van- not quite the ideal mode of transportation for the girl who gets honked and receives other signs of "affection" from unhappy motorists at least once a day! And that's in my little 4-door Sedan. Would soo love your prayers for myself, my kids, and for all the other unfortunate drivers on I-35!

Will update you when I get back...

Until then,

Caroline...van driver extraordinaire!

Guilty, BUT...

Lately, I have found that guilt can be a really powerful thing in my life. The reality of my guilt can cause me great grief. The truth of it can tempt me to deceive and to keep parts of my life hidden, so no one will really know the truth. Guilt can be paralyzing, keeping me from doing good because of the wrong I have done in that area in the past. Guilt can, in a twisted way, be motivating, causing me to do good...but good that is merely my own seeking of atonement and absolution from the guilt that haunts me. Guilt can cause me to be honest and confess. 

But no matter what I seek to do, no matter which of these roads I seek to take, no matter how much I can try to explain it away, nothing can get rid of it. 

It's funny and humbling when you have been a Christian your whole life, but then have those moments when you feel like you are actually understanding the gospel for the first time. Funny, humbling, but also so wonderful, so liberating, so amazing! 

In the past week, I think for the first time I realized, in a real and personal way, the gospel is the ONLY answer to my guilt.

The gospel says to be what I have been saying to myself: Caroline, you are guilty. Caroline, you can't justify it or explain it away. Caroline, you aren't worthy to do good. Caroline, you can't make up for it, you can't absolve it. Caroline it is worse than you think. 

The gospel says to all these accusations, "yes" this is true.

Then, however, the gospel says the most glorious words, "BUT GOD"

"You are guilty, but God has absorbed it, but God has borne it on the cross, but God has made atonement FOR you"

It's like when the angel descends from the altar and touches Isaiah's lips with the coal (the very part of him he had confessed as unclean) and says, "behold, your guilt is taken away, your sin atoned for." 

Caroline, You are guilty, BUT...your guilt is taken away. Your sin has been atoned for!

This past week, a song written by Shane and Shane has been sooo very powerful to me. It has encouraged me over and over (as I have listened to it on repeat in my car). It has reminded me of the truth of the gospel, the glorious refrain in the midst of all my guilt. Jesus Saves!!!

It's called Embracing Accusation... I am posting the words here. But listen to it...its so powerful with the music!!!

May it encourage you as it has encouraged me! 

Embracing Accusation

Father of lies, coming to steal kill and destroy

All my hopes of being good enough

I hear him say cursed are the ones who can't abide

He's right, hallelujah, he's right

The devil is preaching the song of the redeemed

That I am cursed and gone astray

I cannot gain salvation

Embracing Accusation

Could the father of lies be telling the truth

God of me tonight?

That if the penalty of sin is death, then death is mine

I hear him say cursed are the ones who can't abide

The devil's singing over me an age old song

That I am cursed and gone astray

Singing the first verse so conveniently over me

He's forgotten the refrain

JESUS SAVES

The Big 2-5...Happy Birthday, John!!

Happy  Birthday to You!

My "little" brother, John turns the big 2-5 today! And wow, what a fun ride these past 2-5 years have been! 

Happy Birthday to You!

As I was only 2, I do not remember John as a really little baby! But I know that as soon as he came on the scene, I was extremely eager to be his bi

g sister! Mom says she would often find me in his crib attempting to help change his diaper! Hmm...

As we grew up, John and I's friendship, but also our sibling rivalry began to develop! We took a mutual interest in each other's lives. John would sometimes dress up in my leotards, and I would sometimes attempt to join him for a little game of "hoccer" or catch. Sometimes though, when we were "playing", my beloved little brother would tell me that when he grew up, he wanted to be a cop so that he could shoot me for no reason! Again, hmm....

In our high school years, our parents moved us out to McKinney and thus 30 minutes away from civilization, social lives, and friends! John truly became one of my best friends...talking about life, listening to the mixed cds our friends had made for us with music we were not

 allowed to listen to, watching Happy Gilmore nearly every friday night when we got home! I loved going to watch him play soccer. I was always the proud big sister of "Fatty" in the goal. 

Happy Birthday dear, John!

It's hard to believe that we are really both adults now, in our mid and late 20's. But it is such a fun and real blessing to live this stage of life with such a great brother and friend! John brings most of the fun, humor, and quick wit to our

 family! Family dinners, holidays, and trips are much more enjoyable when John is around.

John, I admire you in so many ways! For your integrity, your hard work ethic, your maturity, your capability to be in a room and interact with so many different kinds of people. You are absolutely committed to everything you do- to your job, to your friends, to Emily! I love seeing the way you love, honor, and treat her. What a testimony to the man that you are! I appreciate that you put up with me...and especially my ridiculous rants on dating and my appalling lack of knowledge about the financial world. (and I am obviously so thankful that you do my taxes...the IRS would for sure be after me right now if not for you!) 

Happy Birthday to you!

John, I love you. I am and have always been so proud to be your sister!

Happy 25th!

Love, 

Sis

Celebrating 30 years!!!

Today is a great day of celebrating for me, for today my parents celebrate an incredible milestone...

... their 30th Anniversary!!!

My parents mean the world to me, and I hope this post will serve as a little picture of who they are and an expression, thought insufficient, of my deep thankfulness for them and for their marriage!!!

My parents met a little over 30 years ago when they were set up on a blind date. Mom "accidentally" left her cake pan at the dinner, thus ensuring a call back by Big Bill. She still swears it was unintentional, but we all know better.

The following day, my dad, who is not known to be a morning person by any stretch of the imagination, was up "just driving around the neighborhood"...in my mom's neighborhood, however, and "happened" to run into her while she was out for her morning jog. (And I believe getting ready for the 3 other dates she had that day. She says she was a teacher and had to date to eat:))

Bill won her over the next week by cooking dinner for her at his house. (Unfortunately the surprise element was ruined when he had to call to ask how to bake a potato. Needless to say, Mom has done most of the cooking these past 30 years!)

They had a whirlwind relationship. Engaged in 6 weeks, married 6 months later- March 3, 1979! (I love to put them on the spot with the 6 week engagement thing asking. If I met a guy today, and was basically engaged by Easter, you wouldn't have a problem with it? They say they trust my judgment, although I am not so sure!)

But what can I say? It worked. In a culture that celebrates celebrity romances that last for a year, my parents (who are celebrities to me) have been a part of  30 year marriage that has been such an example to me and such a picture of Christ!

Mom and Dad, you guys together have been a picture of commitment- to each other, your covenant, and most of all to the Lord. You have been a picture of true love, a love deeper than the mushy picture we see on tv, but of a love that truly honors and serves and seeks to meet the needs of the other person above your own. You have been a picture of humility, of grace, and of forgiveness! You have been a picture of dependence on and growing in the grace of Christ. You have been a picture of joy and friendship! You have been a picture of what it truly looks like to do ministry together, and to put each other first, even above that! 

Thank you for the example and encouragement you have been to me! May God richly bless you for 30 more years!!! I love you!