Bad Dreams...

This will be a rather short post, but just wanted to ask for your thoughts, your insights, and for any of you counselors or dream interpreters out there- your professional opinions:

What does it mean when my bad dreams still involve my high school cheerleading days?

This morning, I woke up with my heart still racing from this bad dream, or could we call it a nightmare. I was running around like crazy, emptying every drawer, calling friends for help because I had to cheer at that very moment, and my red bloomers were no where to be found. And there was no way I was going to where the blue ones. They weren't what the rest of the squad was wearing and so didn't go with the white uniform.

Oh, and to make things worse, tryouts were the next day and my hurkies totally stunk!

Clearly a nightmare...

Unfortunately, a nightmare applying to events from 10 years ago!

So yeah, I'm pretty sure I need some help!

The First Day of School...

Well friends, it finally got here. And when I say 'finally', I do mean finally- the first day of school.

Walking onto campus this morning felt like a complete out of body experience. As I got out of the car and walked to class I couldn't help but think of a friend of mine who posted sweet pictures of her children going back to school yesterday on her blog. The specific photo I had in mind was the one of her son crying in his dad's arms, a little bit anxious about the day ahead. I just kept thinking to myself "my sentiments exactly", and wishing my dad was here to drop me off at class.

* Note: this would not be the first time my dad was with me at my first day of grad school. Last year, I was taking a few classes in Dallas. On my first day of Greek, who I am greeted by when I walk out of class? My dad! He was just coming up to "look around the bookstore"- oh yeah, the one we didn't have:) Haha. I love you, Dad. We have a bookstore here, so feel free to come on up and check it out anytime!

Ok, so back to school. First class today: Sermon Preparation and Delivery. Now you might be wondering why I am in this class. My admissions counselor and the class TA assured me that this was the class for me. But as I walked in this morning to a room full of at least 60 men, I wondered the exact same thing. And I am pretty sure they did too.

It brought me back to my college days, where on the first day of class, as I walked in and sat down, I had this strange sense that I didn't quite belong there. This strange sense was confirmed when the teacher walked in, started speaking in Russian, and oddly enough, the whole class actually understood the strange sounds that were coming out of her mouth. That day I politely excused myself and proceeded to find my actual class that was right across the hall- in English!

But today, this was my correct class, so I was sitting there rather awkwardly and super intimidated. (I am sure you who know me can get a pretty good picture of what this looked like!) That is until, the one and only other girl, walked in right as class was starting. I think you could see the relief just sweet across my face! I introduced myself to her and only her (don't want to be THAT girl) after class. And now am feeling great about the class. I am pretty sure when its over I will be ready for my ordination in the PCA..

Haha. Right. For any of you who are freaking out, please sense the sarcasm:)

Overall the rest of the day went great. Spent some time studying in the student center. And by studying I really mean surfing the internet, drinking diet coke, and making new friends. Who really studies on the first day anyways?

I am really excited about my classes tomorrow, and am excited about the canoe trip I am going on on Saturday. Umm, could be a little scary. I am not the best at canoeing. And when I say 'not the best' I mean not good at all. Hopefully, I will arrive back home safe and sound and be here on the blog Sunday to give you a full report.

Thanks for all your prayers, calls, texts, etc. today. They were much appreciated. I sure have great friends! Have a great weekend!

On Boasting...

I will not boast in anything, no gifts no power no wisdom,

But I will boast in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection.

Why should I gain from his reward? I cannot give an answer,

But this I know with all my heart, his wounds have paid my ransom.

I have sung these words, to this, one of my very favorite hymns, many times and in many different contexts. But on Friday, as I sung them in our new student convocation here at the seminary, these familiar words fell upon my heart in a brand new way.

The reality is that most of the time, I cannot say, I cannot sing these first two lines truthfully. Because the greater reality is that I actually do boast, find so much pride in so many other things- futile things, insignificant things, honestly, ridiculous things to boast in, but things I boast in nonetheless.

I have seen this so so much in myself even in my time here so far. I have found myself over and over again boasting in where I am from, my experiences, my gifts, the job I used to possess, the church I used to attend, the people I used to work with or for, good things like my friends and family, and really shallow things that I am not totally willing at this point to expose to an internet full of random strangers:)

This boasting is sometimes in the words I say, is most often present in the thoughts I think, and is deeply rooted in my heart- flowing out into my life in ways I see and ways I am sure I don't.

As I stood and sang those words on Friday night, I was overwhelmed by the thought, the imperative that this, these words, must become my prayer. And so it is that as I start school tomorrow and fully embark on this new season of my life that I make this my prayer- that the Lord by his tender graces and often severe mercy would humble me in such a way that I truly will not boast in anything- no gifts, no power, no wisdom, but I will boast in Jesus Christ his death and resurrection.

A dear friend sent me this quote on humility from John Piper the other day which really struck me, "Humility is the one grace in all our graces, that if we gaze upon it, becomes something else. It flourishes when the gaze is elsewhere- on the greatness of the grace of God in Christ."

If you are one of those who prays for me, would you please pray that I would truly fix my eyes, fix my gaze on Jesus Christ, that all my other pride and other boasting would be swallowed up by the overwhelming reality of the grace of God in Christ towards one such as me, and that my heart would be changed to boast in Christ and in Christ alone!

To Him be the Glory!

Cheers to You...Happy Birthday, Linds!

Today is a very big day for my sister, Lindsay! First of all, it is her 21st Birthday!!! In addition, it is also her first day of her senior year of college, the day she auditions for all her fall shows, and perhaps, most exciting- the day she gets a blog post on Simply Full dedicated completely to her:)

Ok, so maybe that is not the most exciting of all these things, but regardless- Lindsay- this blog post is to you!

HAPPY, HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!

Lindsay, you are not only my sister but truly my dearest and favorite friend! And though you are my "little" sister, I look up to you and admire you in so many ways!

I admire the way you have the courage to pursue your dreams.

I admire how hard you work at everything in your life!

I admire the way you sing and soo wish I could do it!

I admire your confidence in who you are in Christ and in exactly who he has made you to be.

I admire your humility that is mixed with this confidence. It is real humility, and such a reflection of Jesus!

I admire your integrity in everything!

I admire the way that you love people- faithfully, authentically, and without question! One of my favorite things is to see how all the different people in your life just adore you for you who are- because you have loved them, without question, for exactly who they are!

You teach me so much, my sweet sister, and I just love you!

For all of Lindsay's auditions over the past few years, I have been known to write her a cheer! It is pretty much all I can contribute due to my lack of talent and how stinkin nervous I get at those auditions! Linds, I seriously don't know how you do it all the time! But here you, a birthday and audition cheer all in one!

Ready...Hit it...

Happy Birthday, Linds! You are 21!

I hope your day is so much fun!

Finally, old enough to drink a beer!

And so here you go, your birthday cheer!

Enjoy your day, have fun at class!

And tonight at auditions, go kick some...tail!

The greatest actress in all the school!

You are sure to make those directors drool!

From your songs and from those parts you read!

They will just be dying to make you the lead!

But as you sing, and dance, and read your lines!

Don't forget who is cheering for you- your biggest fan, your favorite sister- Caroline!

Have a great day, Linds! I LOVE YOU!

Random Ramblings from STL...

Well friends, I have had a request to update the blog. And by "a" request, I do mean one. So Lindsay, this post is for you. Seriously, no rhyme or reason to this post here. Literally, just random ramblings from STL. For those of you who are not interested in this post, stay tuned for Monday's, it is going to be really special.

**Yes, I do sometimes plan out my blog posts days in advance. This may not be very bloggerish of me. But its my blog, I can do what I want:)

Ok, so anyways, back to the Random Ramblings from STL...

Random Rambling #1...On driving.

Learning my way around a new city = wasting a lot of gas. Tonight, I figured I would take "short cut" on my commute home from the seminary. My commute as of now is 6 whole minutes. Tonight I took a different turn out of the parking lot...25 minutes later, after a few REALLY dark streets, clearly a couple of wrong turns, and even a few episodes of backing up at an intersection I arrived home safe and sound. Definitely the route from here on out!

In addition, last week I printed out two pictures at Walmart to finish off the frames in my room. Total price of pictures- 47 cents! Well, it ends up that the Walmart I printed them off at was probably a good 20 miles away. Total spent on gas getting to and from Walmart- definitely more than 47 cents!

Random Rambling #2... On things I miss from Texas (besides people obviously).

Texas U-Turns. Never really knew how great they were until you didn't have them. Texas High School Football...ok really just the cheerleaders and the Belles from the games! But whatever, I miss it. Go Scots! Mexican Food. Not cool when Chipotle is now my idea of eating some good Tex-Mex. If you are tired of me blogging about Mexican food, there is any easy way to fix that...SEND ME SOME! Would MiCocina keep in the mail?

Random Rambling #3...On things I don't miss from Texas

... the 100 degree heat! It has been in the 70's here the past few days! What what! Can't remember the last time I wore a light jacket or wanted to sit outside on an August afternoon!

Random Rambling #4...On Sorority Rush...

I am still SOO into it. I tend to make fun of those women who are still into it so far out of college. Kinda scared I am going to be one seeing as I have been shamelessly stalking all my girls on facebook trying to see what they are pledging! To all my little Aggie girls, I have a subtle message for you...THINK THETA!

Random Rambling #5... On making friends.

Guess what! I finally made some!

Legit text sent to mom and dad last night after our new students welcome reception: "I made some friends!"

Legit response from mom "Wow! I am so excited for you! Call me later."

Don't worry I am really cool!!:)

I guess that is it for the random ramblings. Stay tuned for Monday's post, sure to be better than this one!

And since I can't have Tex-Mex food, I will leave you with a Tex-Mex farewell...

ADIOS AMIGOS!!!

The Mercy of God...

Hey friends! I read this last night in my Spurgeon's Morning and Evening. It truly was like water to my soul as I "meditated a little on the mercy of the Lord." Hopefully, it will be of great encouragement to you as well.

Meditate a little on this mercy of the Lord. It is a tender mercy. With gentle, loving touch, He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. He is as gracious in the manner of His mercy as in the matter of it.

It is great mercy. There is nothing little in God; His mercy is like himself- it is infinite. You cannot measure it. His mercy is so great that it forgives great sins to great sinners, after great lengths of time, and then gives great favours and great privileges, and raises us up to great enjoyments in the great heaven of the great God.

It is undeserved mercy, as indeed all true mercy must be, for deserved mercy is only a misnomer for justice. There was no right on the sinner's part to the kind consideration of the Most High; has the rebel been doomed at once to eternal fire he would have richly merited the doom, and if delivered from wrath, sovereign love alone has found a cause for their was none in the sinner himself.

It is rich mercy. Some things are great but have little efficacy in them, but this mercy is cordial to your drooping spirits; a golden ointment to your bleeding wounds; a heavenly bandage to your broken bones; a royal chariot for your weary feet; a bosom of love for your trembling heart.

It is manifold mercy. As Bunyan says, 'All the flowers in God's garden are double'. There is no single mercy. You may think you have but one mercy, but you shall find it to be a whole cluster of mercies.

It is abounding mercy. Millions have received it, yet far from its being exhausted, it is as fresh, as full, and as free as ever.

It is unfailing mercy. It will never leave thee. If mercy be thy friend, mercy will be with thee in temptation to keep thee from yielding; with thee in trouble to prevent thee from sinking; with thee living to be the light and life of thy countenance; and with thee dying to be the joy of thy soul when earthly comfort is ebbing fast.

Maybe on the Next Aisle...

Well, this title doubly describes my experience shopping at Schnucks this afternoon. Schnucks is the local grocer up here in St. Louis and I am pretty sure I will be a faithful shopper at Schnucks merely because of the name. Seriously, not much cooler than a store named Schnucks. Ok, maybe there is. But I just like saying it. Gives me a good laugh every time. Schnucks! Schnucks! Schnucks! :) Love it!

Also, for a good laugh there is a place nearby called Straubs. Not sure what they sell there, but whatever it is, I am going! Seriously, I am just getting in a good chuckle every time I drive down the street. But all this talk about Schnucks and Straubs, no matter how fun it is, is besides the point!

My experience shopping at Schnucks made me just a little bit sad and a little bit homesick. For probably a couple of reasons...

1. The fact that I was grocery shopping in general, and not going to dinner at MiCocina. I just love eating out and am maybe a little depressed that I no longer have the money to do so. Honestly though, there really aren't any great restaurants around here anyways- how could there be with no Mexican food. Who knows maybe I'll actually enjoy grocery shopping then. Dallas peeps, enjoy, we know food down there!

2. The fact that some of the few grocery items I do enjoy, I could not find on the shelves of Schnucks...like Honey Wheat Pretzels, good flat bread, my weight watchers yogurts, and duh... Blue Bell Ice Cream.

3. The fact that in my one hour- that's right, one hour of grocery shopping, I did not run into a single person that I knew! I found myself just hoping- maybe on the next aisle! Now, I realize that this is highly unlikely seeing as I know like 4 people in STL and they probably go to a different Schnucks! But regardless, I would get kind of excited every time I rounded my way to the next aisle, only to be faced with a bunch of random strangers.

I think that is one of the things I am going to miss the most- always having to allow for a few extra minutes for each of your errands because you are sure going to run into someone that you know. When a trip to the grocery store for me always inevitably included a few little chats with my girls, their parents, my friends!

Community is special and it is sweet. And it is such a joy and privilege to just do life with people. Today, I am missing that community I have at home- the faces I'd run into at the store, at the Y, and at JD's while I was getting my diet coke, the people that would honk and stop while I was on a walk.

But I am also hopeful and anxiously looking forward to the community that God will provide for me here- a people, friends, to live with and do life with, to know and be known by, to love and be loved by, a people with whom to share life, share joys, share burdens, share laughs. It's neat to think about the reality that some of the strangers I saw today- at lunch, at the coffee shop, at the store- may just become friends with whom I share my life and my heart!

What a day it will be when I have friends at Schnucks!! :) Can't wait!

For now, to my community, my friends, my fam, my girls in Dallas...I love and miss you! I'm so abundantly thankful for the community I have had and will always have with you!