The Inevitable Post-Break Up Note

* Disclaimer- For all those who are concerned by the title of this post, the contents that follow have no relationship to my marriage I mentioned yesterday. For those of you who know me well, however... the contents that follow may be quite shocking. Brace yourselves...

Dear One Whom I Once Loved,

It has been a little while since I called things off. And if I am honest, it has not been easy. And I would be lying if I said I did not think about you often. I do think about you occasionally. Ok, I think about you a lot. Sometimes in the morning, I am convinced I really need you. When the afternoons are getting long, I think about how on so many afternoons you would get me through. I think about you at lunch and dinner too- for what a good companion you had been at so many, many meals throughout our long-standing relationship. 

Every time I think about you, I wonder... Did I make a colossal mistake? What was I thinking when I gave you up? Especially after you had brought me so much comfort and joy? 

But then, I remember...it wasn't all joy and roses. I remember how you could make me feel so bad. How you would literally leave me with pain- in my head, and in my stomach, and yes, even in my heart after you had gone. I remember how people had been telling me, for years and years and years that I needed to get rid of you, that you weren't good for me, and that you were in fact very bad for me- but I didn't listen. But this time I have...

There have been other times when I have tried to give you up, but have failed so very miserably. But I just want you to know that, this time is not like the others. I cannot, I will not (I say to myself so confidently, hoping that it is true) be convinced again that I need you in my life. This isn't a break..though I am sure our track record would have many convinced of the contrary. This is the real deal- the official break up. 

I wish we could still be friends- you know, see each other occasionally and just hang out. But I know myself, I can't do it... I don't know how to have just a little of you. So, we can't be friends...maybe some day, way way way down the road. But not now. 

So I want you to know, one I have held so dear, that once and for all- we are through. For good, for real. 

Thanks for all the good times,

Caroline

PS. Please don't judge me if I keep these pictures by my bed...you know, for memories sake. 

Yes, friends... it is true. I have given up Diet Coke. Figured that would be pretty newsworthy for my first few days back on the blog! 

For those of you unfamiliar with my love-affair with DC, please see this previous post from 2009... Shout Out to a Friend!