Workout Woes

There are certain aspects of my life that very well might not make any sense to anyone who is not...well, me. My present workout situation is one of them. Though the family I live with has a complete workout facility literally 50 feet from my room- I can count the number of times I have used their eliptical, treadmill, or the tv to pop in Jillian's 30 Day Shred on one hand. Thus, this semester I have decided to fork out the $20 a month to join a gym 12 minutes away! It's been great actually and the number of times I have worked out in the past 2 weeks is at least double than all of last semester combined. So I am feeling good...

Or not so good. With the help and accountability of a couple of friends, I have made it to the gym before 6 am the past two days for some workout classes. And while I have done Yoga consistently for the past few years, I am not totally sure classes are my thing. Today, in the midst of a class that I believe was entitled "Drills That Make You Sweat", I began writing this blog post in my head:

The Top Ten Things that Make You Wonder Whether You Should Be in this Workout Class at All:

10. You do not walk, but rather waddle into class due to extreme soreness from the day before.

9. You are exhausted after the warm-up and anxiously glance up at the clock to see if class is almost over... alas, you have 55 more minutes to go.

8. Your friends who are with you for support can be found chuckling at your lack of coordination and your lack of ability to gracefully jump over the step.

7. During one particular drill, you look in the mirror and think you almost see a football player out at two-a-days! (This may be attributed to the drill itself, or the way I looked in the mirror...I will assume the former).

6. The instructor has to come correct you with each and every new drill- and each time, though it is obvious that you are 28 years old, smiles and condescendingly (oh I mean, compassionately) calls you "sweetie".

5. You notice that the lady next to you is not 28, but closer to 68... and that she has twice as much weight as you on her bar...and that while you feel like you are about to fall over, she appears completely unaffected by all the lunging and "bun-burning."

4. Somewhere along the way you start wondering what you will eat for breakfast and if you have time to stop at Starbucks on the way to school.

3. You are the having the awake kind of nightbares of Billy-Blanks (you know, the Tae-Bo instructor) yelling at you that he can see you and that you better keep doing those butt drills because it is almost swimsuit season.

2. You get excited because you are pretty sure you hear your instructor announce "nap-time", then are crushed to realize that the actual phrase she energetically shouted across the room was indeed "ab-time!"

1. Cher comes on the workout-mix and you are thinking that it would probably be infinitely better to be sitting at her concert than on your ab-mat right now!

Only redeemable part of the workout (besides the friends there and the fact that I have already lost 40 lbs and toned all my muscles in just two days...)... the 90's workout mix complete with my very favorite N'SYNC song... DIRTY POP!

Alright, I am off to class....sadly no time for Starbucks. To all my readers out there....may your day be much less humbling than mine!

I'm in Love...

People had told me it would happen when I came up to St. Louis. I had hoped it was true, but had decided it was highly unlikely. But, indeed it has happened to me, and happened in much deeper way than I had anticipated. I am in love...

WITH SCHOOL!

Sorry for all of you who were hoping for something a little more fun and juicy. And I hope that the news comes as somewhat of a relief to those of you who would be offended about hearing such news about a boy via my blog. Never fear!

But the truth is every day this semester I have walked out of class overwhelmed with how much I love school. Some of you know because I have sent you ridiculous text messages that say so, to which you maybe have responded, "you would or you are such a dork." But regardless I do love school, and each day this semester, I have been overwhelmed with the joy and privilege that is to be here at this time of my life, thankful for the specific schedule that the Lord has given me at this particular season in my life, thankful for the ways he is working in my heart each day through the things my professors have to say.

One of the most impactful things thus far have been the very first words spoken by my professor on my very first day of class, Acts and Paul! He introduced our class and the book of Acts by asking us this question, "Do you really want to be caught up in the mission of God or do you just want to live your life with a little Christian paint over it?"

I was particularly struck with this phrase "caught up." As I look at my life, I see how easy it is to get caught up in so many things, so consumed by them that they fill my thoughts, my conversations, my time, that they drive my whole life. What would it truly look like to be truly caught up in the mission of God, in a way that his agenda completely supersedes my own? For this mission to be the thing that fills my thoughts, my conversations, my time, that drives my entire life?

I feel like if I were to meditate on this one question and pray towards this one end for this entire semester, it would truly change my life! And this is only the beginning!

If you pray for me, would you please pray that as school and the semester continues, and it is so easy to get caught up in so many things, even school itself, that I would truly get caught up in the mission of God and the person of Christ! And that love for school would actually drive me to a much deeper, much more supreme love... a love for Christ!

Not Smarter than a 5th Grader...

It is official, I'm not smarter than a 5th grader. In fact, I'm not even smarter than a 4th grader. (Don't tell my grad school though...they might kick me out:))

As many of you know, I am nannying for a precious family of 7 kids! They are wonderful and I LOVE them. I like to feel like I am helpful around the house. But tonight I am not so sure.

The oldest 2 kids who are in 4th and 5th grade needed some help with their math homework. And I figure, "hey, I have a college degree (never mind that is in English), I can do this!" Well, not so much. First I was confronted with a word problem that went something like this:

A man went to the store to pick up some groceries. The store was 20 miles away from his house. On the way there he traveled at 30 mph. On the way home, he hit some traffic and traveled at 12 mph. How long did the round trip take him?

SERIOUSLY? I don't know, and don't really care. The real question I was asking was why in the heck this man went to a store 20 miles away? What could he possibly need?

Then, if that word problem wasn't bad enough, the next thing I had to tackle was Algebra. I honestly can't remember the last time I had to do math with letters. The page looked something like this:

x + 3x = x + x + 10

6x + 1 = 4x + x

8 + x + 7x + 10000x = 2x + 12x - 15x

4th grade math? Really?!?! Looks like Greek to me!

Whatever, I can read Greek! This is a whole new ball game!

If anyone knows where I can pick up a good calculator, or Word Problems for Dummies, please let me know. I'd hate for my precious children to fail their math homework on account of their genius or not so much baby-sitter!

HELP!

PS. If any of my math genius siblings are reading this and know the answers... please don't comment. I KNOW you are smarter than me. No need to rub it in!

Film & Theology

January is pretty great up here at the seminary. Regular classes are suspended, and a handful of electives are offered either as week-long or weekend courses. Last weekend, I took a class on Campus Ministry and it's connection to the church. More to come on that later. This weekend, I had the great privilege of taking a class entitled Film and Theology- an entire class on how as believers can faithfully engage film and authentically engage people through film. Our mornings were filled with lecture and discussion, and each afternoon was spent watching a film and discussing it as a group. I honestly don't think I could have asked for anything better...

I found however, that this class, like so many others, really surprised me. I went in thinking I was going to learn more about film, how to engage it, and how it as art is a reflection of who God is, his story, and who we are as his image bearers. An expectation that was fulfilled indeed. However, I left thinking less about film and more about people. Through the movies that we watched, the books we read, the discussion we had, I left with this one primary question running through my head each day, 'Caroline, do you really love people?'

Do I love people enough to listen?

Do I love people enough to engage their story?

Do I love people who are different than me?

Do I love people as people and not as a means to an end?

Will I love people when it is inconvenient?

Will I love people when it is a sacrifice?

Will I love people for who they are and not who I want or expect them to be?

Will I view all people as exceedingly valuable?

Will I view all people as made in God's image?

Will I view all stories as one's that are infinitely worthy of engaging in and listening to?

The final movie we watched today was documentary entitled Nanking. It tells the brutal and heart-wrenching truth of the massacres brought on the common Chinese people by the Japanese army during WWII, and it tells the story to 8 heroic Westerners who gave their lives to save the lives of thousands of China's "least of these." Through watching and discussing the film, it became evident that none of these Westerners saw their deeds as especially heroic, but rather as simply, inescapably the right thing to do. As our professor commented, their actions were merely the overflow of who they already were. Their actions in the midst of a horrifically unjust and inhumane situation were merely the overflow of their hearts.

It became my prayer as I walked out of class today, that by God's grace, he would make me into such a person. That loving people, all people, deeply, authentically, humbly sacrificially would become the overflow of my heart. That I would see and value all people as our God sees and values them... in such a way listening to, loving, engaging, serving, and giving away my life for them would both the beat of my heart and the joy of my soul. And that one day, no matter who and what the Lord calls me to, I might look back at my life and say as one missionary did, 'I have never known a sacrifice.'

If you the time, I would highly recommend the movies that we watched this week. All were extremely thought provoking... primarily leading me to ask the questions, "What am I really living for?" and "How do I really treat people?" I'd encourage you to watch them all and discuss them with other people...

Stranger than Fiction... An extremely thought provoking comedy starring Will Farrell, Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman, Maggie Gyllenhall, and Queen Latifah about how one man finds freedom, meaning, and life as he finds out his life is actually being written by someone else.... LOVED IT!

Run Lola Run... A German film, probably my least favorite we watched all week. (Maybe because I still don't totally understand it.) I did enjoy it as a film however. If you watch it and figure out the whole message, let me know! :)

WIT... A heart wrenching and deeply impacting film that follows a literature professor's battle with Stage 4 ovarian cancer. This film authentically brings to light the beauty and value of humanity, but uncovers the ugly darkness of the inhumane way we can often treat one another.

Starring Emma Thompson. Watch it with your kleenex nearby.

Nanking... As hard as it was to watch, I was impacted by this movie the most. It is crazy to me that I have heard stories of WWII for my entire life and had never heard this one. This movie made me think so much about what is going on the world that we don't even know, or that we choose not to see, and what we, especially as Christians, are called to do in the midst of it. I'd say if you watch any of these...watch this one!

Enjoy your movie watching! Can't wait to hear what you think. Oh, and if anyone has any good movie suggestions...please leave them here! I can't get enough right now.

Resolution...Blogging!

Some of you have been harassing me about the lack of blogging I have been doing since moving to STL and especially in the past few months! So Lindsay, Karen, Mindy, Amy, Mom, and Pops ... this blog post is especially for you!

Therefore, one of my resolutions for this year is to start blogging again! You may be wondering why I have waited until January 17th to get this resolution started. Well... Resolutions tend to not go very well for me. My most recurring resolution to give up diet coke never seems to last very long, and somehow by late afternoon on January first I find myself popping open a can and attempting to convince myself and everyone around me that I actually NEED Diet Coke in my life! Therefore, I figured if I waited until now I would have a better chance of at least one New Year's resolution making it until February!

I only kid... not about the diet coke, but about the blogging! I really am going to put my best effort forth to keep up the blog! Funny that I started it to keep up with family and friends when I moved up here to STL, and actually blogged more when those I loved lived within a few miles than when I am miles and miles away and freezing up here in the arctic! But now that I am up here in STL and not really sure the next time I will see everyone, I am back to the blog!

A very quick update... I ended up having a great first semester. I loved school far more than I had ever dreamed (weirdly enough I even LOVED being buried in the library for hours on end studying and writing papers!) and am so confirmed that I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be! I had the great privilege of being home for 3 weeks over Christmas, getting to spend time with so many family and friends and so many of my girls from church! I honestly, could not have asked for more!

I am really excited and thankful to be back up here for the semester! On Monday I had a 10 hour drive by myself which could have been brutal (especially because much of the drive was through the ever-so-boring state of Oklahoma!) But the Lord really just filled me with this sense of peace, and joy, and anticipation for all that he has in store for me in the coming months. Being back here this week has felt so good and so normal- coming back the amazing family I live with, and the absolutely precious family I nanny for, seeing my friends, going back to class this weekend, and going to my church today! It's just been good...oh and the cold left right before I got back too, thank goodness!

Here are a few pics of some highlights from the past few months...

More blog updates to come this week...

Oh and on a final note... CONGRATULATIONS to my amazing sister Lindsay who this weekend was cast as one of the leads in OKCU's Spring Musical... Thoroughly Modern Millie!!! I love you and am sooo proud of you!

One of my closest new friends Susan and I at our Birthday Party some friends threw for us here in STL! Love you Sus!!!

Helen, my very best friend and roommate from college who is now in NYC! Hel, sooo loved getting to hang out with you at home!!

One of my very favorite things about being at home is all the great cousin time we get over the Holidays! This was one of my favorite nights, many of the 'Lamberth' cousins out at Barcadia for my birthday! (John, Becky, Me, Lindsay, Maggie, and Katie!)

A little reunion with my college besties (minus Helen). Gillean, Karen, Mindy, Me, and Lucy!)

Some of my sweet new friends from school at the Covenant Christmas Banquet! (Me, Jenilyn, Susan, Hillary, Jessica, and Hayden!)

That's all for now friends...

Air Travel...

Well, friends! After a very long day of travel, I have arrived here in Philly safe and sound. For those of you were wondering, I did not get the tiki hut room again this year! I'm honestly pretty bummed out about it and wondering if the conference is going to be nearly as fun in just a plain ol' hotel room.

Today, I spent far longer than I would ever like to in airports and on airplanes. Traveling for extended hours gives you a lot of thinking time. Don't worry, I will not post all today's thoughts on this blog. Too exposing...I will however post the top ten questions that came to my mind regarding air travel. And without further adieu, here they are, in no particular order...

10. Why would an airport advertise for a TCBY that they do not have, thus making hungry travelers walk down an extra 10 gates only to be disappointed?

9. Why do they tell you to wipe out the sink basin in the airplane bathroom with a towel when you can just as easily lift up the stopper and let all the water out?

8. Why is it so important to turn off all your electronics before take off and landing? Seriously, if I had accidentally left my i-pod on, what would happen to my plane?

7, Why in the world would an airline make you fly through Dallas on your way from St. Louis to Philadelphia? I mean, have they ever looked at a map?

6. Why was American Airlines not willing to work with my social schedule and give me a little longer lay-over in DFW so I could get out and see some peeps?

5. Why is it that restaurants like McDonalds, Chilis, and Auntie Anne's pretzels always taste so much better in airports? (Ok, I shouldn't throw Auntie Anne's under the bus, I love that place!)

4. Is the only way to get free stuff on the airplane these days to flirt incessantly with the flight attendant? The guys in front of me got free vodka AND peanuts after shamelessly flirting with our stewardess. So not fair... the male flight attendant was at the front of the plane.

3. Is it funny to anyone else that people will have deep conversations for an entire 3 hour plane ride and then finally tell each other their names when the plane is about to land?

2. Is taking a carry on bag in order to save $60 (yes...that is $30 for each bag, each way!) really going to save me money later on when I have to have back surgery from lugging my ridiculously heavy bags through the airport all day?

1. Who are all these people? Where are they going? What are their stories?

The last question really did get me as I walked to the back of the plane... I was just one of maybe 2oo people on my flight, which was just one of the many flights that left today, out of a single airport. Really made me wonder...what is everyone's story?

Finally, I would like to give a shout out to my brother John (who undoubtedly will NEVER read this...so if you see him, tell him). Out of his graciousness and in exchange for my couches, he bought me this ticket! Thanks, John!

More from Philly coming soon...

God's Gracious Timing...

Today, I have officially been here for 3 months. Time is such a funny thing. Sometimes it feels like I just arrived, and at other times it feels as if I have always been here, that this has always been my life. But regardless of how time feels, I know how my heart feels today- so thankful for this season, so thankful to be here, so thankful that the Lord has graciously given me this opportunity, this privilege.

I am also so thankful for the great privilege I have tomorrow- going up to Philly for the CCEF Conference! In these two things, I see God's gracious timing so clearly. As many of you know, Philly and CCEF had been my plan for so very long, a plan I had held so tightly to- even after coming to Covenant. And as excited as I was about the Conference, I also dreaded and at the same time hoped, that this weekend would confirm that I wasn't supposed to be here in STL at all, that my plan had been right- God's wrong, and that I could come back here knowing I was supposed to go up there.

But God's timing is so good! Today, I sat in class thinking- "I love this so much." And as I think about life, I honestly would not want to be anywhere else right now. And tomorrow I go to Philly, for what I hope will be an incredibly shaping, challenging, and refreshing weekend. But at the end of it, I know I will come home to a place, and people, and a life I love! Praise the Lord!

Seriously, I couldn't be more excited about the Conference. Over the past several years, it has been one of the most encouraging and influential parts of my life and ministry. I can only guess that this years is going to be the same. The entire weekend is on sex- looking at it from a biblical-creation, fall, redemption, and glorification framework. I am really excited because this is a topic I don't think the church talks about well or enough. I'm sure I will have much to say upon returning from the Conference, and as I think and ponder these things in the days and weeks to come.

For those of you who are not familiar with CCEF, check them out! There are not many people I would rather sit under and learn from than these godly, humble people who so profoundly apply the truths of the gospel to the realities and struggles of life.

Also, I am anxiously anticipating my hotel room. Last year without even requesting it, I got to stay in this...

I can only hope I'll be so lucky this year!