Not Smarter than a 5th Grader...

It is official, I'm not smarter than a 5th grader. In fact, I'm not even smarter than a 4th grader. (Don't tell my grad school though...they might kick me out:))

As many of you know, I am nannying for a precious family of 7 kids! They are wonderful and I LOVE them. I like to feel like I am helpful around the house. But tonight I am not so sure.

The oldest 2 kids who are in 4th and 5th grade needed some help with their math homework. And I figure, "hey, I have a college degree (never mind that is in English), I can do this!" Well, not so much. First I was confronted with a word problem that went something like this:

A man went to the store to pick up some groceries. The store was 20 miles away from his house. On the way there he traveled at 30 mph. On the way home, he hit some traffic and traveled at 12 mph. How long did the round trip take him?

SERIOUSLY? I don't know, and don't really care. The real question I was asking was why in the heck this man went to a store 20 miles away? What could he possibly need?

Then, if that word problem wasn't bad enough, the next thing I had to tackle was Algebra. I honestly can't remember the last time I had to do math with letters. The page looked something like this:

x + 3x = x + x + 10

6x + 1 = 4x + x

8 + x + 7x + 10000x = 2x + 12x - 15x

4th grade math? Really?!?! Looks like Greek to me!

Whatever, I can read Greek! This is a whole new ball game!

If anyone knows where I can pick up a good calculator, or Word Problems for Dummies, please let me know. I'd hate for my precious children to fail their math homework on account of their genius or not so much baby-sitter!

HELP!

PS. If any of my math genius siblings are reading this and know the answers... please don't comment. I KNOW you are smarter than me. No need to rub it in!

Film & Theology

January is pretty great up here at the seminary. Regular classes are suspended, and a handful of electives are offered either as week-long or weekend courses. Last weekend, I took a class on Campus Ministry and it's connection to the church. More to come on that later. This weekend, I had the great privilege of taking a class entitled Film and Theology- an entire class on how as believers can faithfully engage film and authentically engage people through film. Our mornings were filled with lecture and discussion, and each afternoon was spent watching a film and discussing it as a group. I honestly don't think I could have asked for anything better...

I found however, that this class, like so many others, really surprised me. I went in thinking I was going to learn more about film, how to engage it, and how it as art is a reflection of who God is, his story, and who we are as his image bearers. An expectation that was fulfilled indeed. However, I left thinking less about film and more about people. Through the movies that we watched, the books we read, the discussion we had, I left with this one primary question running through my head each day, 'Caroline, do you really love people?'

Do I love people enough to listen?

Do I love people enough to engage their story?

Do I love people who are different than me?

Do I love people as people and not as a means to an end?

Will I love people when it is inconvenient?

Will I love people when it is a sacrifice?

Will I love people for who they are and not who I want or expect them to be?

Will I view all people as exceedingly valuable?

Will I view all people as made in God's image?

Will I view all stories as one's that are infinitely worthy of engaging in and listening to?

The final movie we watched today was documentary entitled Nanking. It tells the brutal and heart-wrenching truth of the massacres brought on the common Chinese people by the Japanese army during WWII, and it tells the story to 8 heroic Westerners who gave their lives to save the lives of thousands of China's "least of these." Through watching and discussing the film, it became evident that none of these Westerners saw their deeds as especially heroic, but rather as simply, inescapably the right thing to do. As our professor commented, their actions were merely the overflow of who they already were. Their actions in the midst of a horrifically unjust and inhumane situation were merely the overflow of their hearts.

It became my prayer as I walked out of class today, that by God's grace, he would make me into such a person. That loving people, all people, deeply, authentically, humbly sacrificially would become the overflow of my heart. That I would see and value all people as our God sees and values them... in such a way listening to, loving, engaging, serving, and giving away my life for them would both the beat of my heart and the joy of my soul. And that one day, no matter who and what the Lord calls me to, I might look back at my life and say as one missionary did, 'I have never known a sacrifice.'

If you the time, I would highly recommend the movies that we watched this week. All were extremely thought provoking... primarily leading me to ask the questions, "What am I really living for?" and "How do I really treat people?" I'd encourage you to watch them all and discuss them with other people...

Stranger than Fiction... An extremely thought provoking comedy starring Will Farrell, Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman, Maggie Gyllenhall, and Queen Latifah about how one man finds freedom, meaning, and life as he finds out his life is actually being written by someone else.... LOVED IT!

Run Lola Run... A German film, probably my least favorite we watched all week. (Maybe because I still don't totally understand it.) I did enjoy it as a film however. If you watch it and figure out the whole message, let me know! :)

WIT... A heart wrenching and deeply impacting film that follows a literature professor's battle with Stage 4 ovarian cancer. This film authentically brings to light the beauty and value of humanity, but uncovers the ugly darkness of the inhumane way we can often treat one another.

Starring Emma Thompson. Watch it with your kleenex nearby.

Nanking... As hard as it was to watch, I was impacted by this movie the most. It is crazy to me that I have heard stories of WWII for my entire life and had never heard this one. This movie made me think so much about what is going on the world that we don't even know, or that we choose not to see, and what we, especially as Christians, are called to do in the midst of it. I'd say if you watch any of these...watch this one!

Enjoy your movie watching! Can't wait to hear what you think. Oh, and if anyone has any good movie suggestions...please leave them here! I can't get enough right now.

Resolution...Blogging!

Some of you have been harassing me about the lack of blogging I have been doing since moving to STL and especially in the past few months! So Lindsay, Karen, Mindy, Amy, Mom, and Pops ... this blog post is especially for you!

Therefore, one of my resolutions for this year is to start blogging again! You may be wondering why I have waited until January 17th to get this resolution started. Well... Resolutions tend to not go very well for me. My most recurring resolution to give up diet coke never seems to last very long, and somehow by late afternoon on January first I find myself popping open a can and attempting to convince myself and everyone around me that I actually NEED Diet Coke in my life! Therefore, I figured if I waited until now I would have a better chance of at least one New Year's resolution making it until February!

I only kid... not about the diet coke, but about the blogging! I really am going to put my best effort forth to keep up the blog! Funny that I started it to keep up with family and friends when I moved up here to STL, and actually blogged more when those I loved lived within a few miles than when I am miles and miles away and freezing up here in the arctic! But now that I am up here in STL and not really sure the next time I will see everyone, I am back to the blog!

A very quick update... I ended up having a great first semester. I loved school far more than I had ever dreamed (weirdly enough I even LOVED being buried in the library for hours on end studying and writing papers!) and am so confirmed that I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be! I had the great privilege of being home for 3 weeks over Christmas, getting to spend time with so many family and friends and so many of my girls from church! I honestly, could not have asked for more!

I am really excited and thankful to be back up here for the semester! On Monday I had a 10 hour drive by myself which could have been brutal (especially because much of the drive was through the ever-so-boring state of Oklahoma!) But the Lord really just filled me with this sense of peace, and joy, and anticipation for all that he has in store for me in the coming months. Being back here this week has felt so good and so normal- coming back the amazing family I live with, and the absolutely precious family I nanny for, seeing my friends, going back to class this weekend, and going to my church today! It's just been good...oh and the cold left right before I got back too, thank goodness!

Here are a few pics of some highlights from the past few months...

More blog updates to come this week...

Oh and on a final note... CONGRATULATIONS to my amazing sister Lindsay who this weekend was cast as one of the leads in OKCU's Spring Musical... Thoroughly Modern Millie!!! I love you and am sooo proud of you!

One of my closest new friends Susan and I at our Birthday Party some friends threw for us here in STL! Love you Sus!!!

Helen, my very best friend and roommate from college who is now in NYC! Hel, sooo loved getting to hang out with you at home!!

One of my very favorite things about being at home is all the great cousin time we get over the Holidays! This was one of my favorite nights, many of the 'Lamberth' cousins out at Barcadia for my birthday! (John, Becky, Me, Lindsay, Maggie, and Katie!)

A little reunion with my college besties (minus Helen). Gillean, Karen, Mindy, Me, and Lucy!)

Some of my sweet new friends from school at the Covenant Christmas Banquet! (Me, Jenilyn, Susan, Hillary, Jessica, and Hayden!)

That's all for now friends...

Air Travel...

Well, friends! After a very long day of travel, I have arrived here in Philly safe and sound. For those of you were wondering, I did not get the tiki hut room again this year! I'm honestly pretty bummed out about it and wondering if the conference is going to be nearly as fun in just a plain ol' hotel room.

Today, I spent far longer than I would ever like to in airports and on airplanes. Traveling for extended hours gives you a lot of thinking time. Don't worry, I will not post all today's thoughts on this blog. Too exposing...I will however post the top ten questions that came to my mind regarding air travel. And without further adieu, here they are, in no particular order...

10. Why would an airport advertise for a TCBY that they do not have, thus making hungry travelers walk down an extra 10 gates only to be disappointed?

9. Why do they tell you to wipe out the sink basin in the airplane bathroom with a towel when you can just as easily lift up the stopper and let all the water out?

8. Why is it so important to turn off all your electronics before take off and landing? Seriously, if I had accidentally left my i-pod on, what would happen to my plane?

7, Why in the world would an airline make you fly through Dallas on your way from St. Louis to Philadelphia? I mean, have they ever looked at a map?

6. Why was American Airlines not willing to work with my social schedule and give me a little longer lay-over in DFW so I could get out and see some peeps?

5. Why is it that restaurants like McDonalds, Chilis, and Auntie Anne's pretzels always taste so much better in airports? (Ok, I shouldn't throw Auntie Anne's under the bus, I love that place!)

4. Is the only way to get free stuff on the airplane these days to flirt incessantly with the flight attendant? The guys in front of me got free vodka AND peanuts after shamelessly flirting with our stewardess. So not fair... the male flight attendant was at the front of the plane.

3. Is it funny to anyone else that people will have deep conversations for an entire 3 hour plane ride and then finally tell each other their names when the plane is about to land?

2. Is taking a carry on bag in order to save $60 (yes...that is $30 for each bag, each way!) really going to save me money later on when I have to have back surgery from lugging my ridiculously heavy bags through the airport all day?

1. Who are all these people? Where are they going? What are their stories?

The last question really did get me as I walked to the back of the plane... I was just one of maybe 2oo people on my flight, which was just one of the many flights that left today, out of a single airport. Really made me wonder...what is everyone's story?

Finally, I would like to give a shout out to my brother John (who undoubtedly will NEVER read this...so if you see him, tell him). Out of his graciousness and in exchange for my couches, he bought me this ticket! Thanks, John!

More from Philly coming soon...

God's Gracious Timing...

Today, I have officially been here for 3 months. Time is such a funny thing. Sometimes it feels like I just arrived, and at other times it feels as if I have always been here, that this has always been my life. But regardless of how time feels, I know how my heart feels today- so thankful for this season, so thankful to be here, so thankful that the Lord has graciously given me this opportunity, this privilege.

I am also so thankful for the great privilege I have tomorrow- going up to Philly for the CCEF Conference! In these two things, I see God's gracious timing so clearly. As many of you know, Philly and CCEF had been my plan for so very long, a plan I had held so tightly to- even after coming to Covenant. And as excited as I was about the Conference, I also dreaded and at the same time hoped, that this weekend would confirm that I wasn't supposed to be here in STL at all, that my plan had been right- God's wrong, and that I could come back here knowing I was supposed to go up there.

But God's timing is so good! Today, I sat in class thinking- "I love this so much." And as I think about life, I honestly would not want to be anywhere else right now. And tomorrow I go to Philly, for what I hope will be an incredibly shaping, challenging, and refreshing weekend. But at the end of it, I know I will come home to a place, and people, and a life I love! Praise the Lord!

Seriously, I couldn't be more excited about the Conference. Over the past several years, it has been one of the most encouraging and influential parts of my life and ministry. I can only guess that this years is going to be the same. The entire weekend is on sex- looking at it from a biblical-creation, fall, redemption, and glorification framework. I am really excited because this is a topic I don't think the church talks about well or enough. I'm sure I will have much to say upon returning from the Conference, and as I think and ponder these things in the days and weeks to come.

For those of you who are not familiar with CCEF, check them out! There are not many people I would rather sit under and learn from than these godly, humble people who so profoundly apply the truths of the gospel to the realities and struggles of life.

Also, I am anxiously anticipating my hotel room. Last year without even requesting it, I got to stay in this...

I can only hope I'll be so lucky this year!

Library Fun

Now I know many of you think that the title to this post is an utter oxymoron. I likewise shared your opinion until this Saturday. I had been effectively avoiding spending an entire day in the library this semester, but on Saturday I had no other choice- I had to give in. And so, on what was probably the most beautiful day we have had in a looong time, I packed up my stuff and headed up to the library for a focused day of study and research! You should be proud.

Or maybe not. On this particular afternoon, I managed to find plenty of people to talk to in the library and found the one person studying in the student center who clearly needed me to talk to her long enough for her to become my new favorite person here in STL.

During this "study break" of which the duration shall remain undefined, I left my computer unattended. Clearly someone else in the library was looking for a little fun, someone, I might add whose identity is still completely unknown to me. Because when I returned to my computer a little (ok a lot) later that afternoon, I found this on my desktop...

Nothing like that to give you good laugh. Nothing like that to tell you you just may have been away from your computer for a little too long. And nothing like that to creep you out enough to get you packing your books and getting the heck out of there as fast as you possibly can. I mean, for real, what if that cat was roaming the stacks? Needless to say, I was out the door in less than 10...

How Firm A Foundation

I have been reminded much over the past several months that life in our broken world is full of suffering-suffering that truly takes all shapes and sizes- some is temporary, some will last for a lifetime. Suffering is something we would rarely choose and it typically comes in forms we would never expect. My old boss and pastor, Mark, always used to say that in this life you are always either going into a trial, going through a trial, or coming out of a trial. The longer I live and the more I am in relationships, the more I realize this is true.

In the midst of this the Lord keeps reminding me that the gospel must and does speak to this, that it provides light in our darkness, strength in our weakness, and hope in our despair- a hope that is not a vain wishing, but is rather sure and secure, that does not disappoint because it is wrapped up in the person and promises of Jesus Christ. Our hope is that while none of our trials and suffering seem "slight and momentary" what lies ahead of us as believers is "a weight of glory beyond all comparison." Our hope is for that glorious day where we will be ushered out of our trials and suffering, and the kingdom of God will be fully and finally ushered in! And our comfort as we wait for this day, lies in the glorious reality of the presence and purpose of God in our sufferings.

We sang this hymn today in church that was such a great reminder to me of these truths. It reminded me of the promises, person, and purpose that are present with us in our sufferings. And it hope to cling to and truths to pray for those I know and love who right now truly find themselves in the "rivers of sorrow" and "fiery trials" and who feel without a doubt that theirs is "the soul that all hell doth endeavor to break." May these words encourage your heart as well...

How Firm a Foundation...

How firm a foundation, you saints of the Lord

Is laid for your faith in his excellent Word!

What more can he say than you to you he hath said

To you, who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

"Fear not I am with you, O be not dismayed,

For I am your God and will still give you aid;

I'll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand."

"When through the deep waters I call you to go,

the rivers of sorrow shall not you overflow

For I will be with you, your troubles to bless

And sanctify to you your deepest distress."

"When through fiery trials your pathway shall life,

My grace, all sufficient, shall be your supply;

The flame shall not hurt you, I only design

Your dross to consume and your gold to refine."

"The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose,

I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell, should endeavor to break,

I'll never, no never, no never forsake."